Cliff Quote #704

Quote from Cliff in One Hugs, the Other Doesn't

Cliff: Pretty good eats, huh, Norm?
Norm: Not bad for a two-year-old. l, myself, have been enjoying these teeny little tuna fish sandwiches shaped like tiny little dinosaurs.
Cliff: Yeah, quite ironic actually, uh, seeing as how tuna, known in Latin as Pisces middayicus roughly translated as "lunch fish" was, uh, was not a contemporary of the, uh, prehistoric reptilian land wanderers.

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 ‘One Hugs, the Other Doesn't’ Quotes

Quote from Lilith

Lilith: So Frasier was married to that... Oh, how would one describe her? Bitch. Never even told me about her. Well, if that's what he wants, he can have it. [sings] I want to shake your hand, snatch you bald I want to scratch your eyes out I want to drain your blood and replace it with a Mercuric chloride, formaldehyde And alcohol solution. [laughs] You had to be there.
Carla: Boy, never seen this side of Lilith before. I like it.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Oh, I know what Lilith's going through. When I was in high school, I used to date this guy, Corky Pasavak. He was in drama class, but he, but he was still real macho. Anyway, one time he asked me to go to the movies, and when we were walking down the aisle... [voice breaking] we ran into his old girlfriend. I don't even know why I'm telling this story; I mean, I'll just end up... [quavering] getting a lump in my throat, trailing off... [sobbing] and bursting into tears. [wails] Not this time, damn you, not this time! [exits]
Norm: Well, I think that was a new record.

 Cliff Clavin Quotes

Quote from Coach in Love, Part 1

Cliff: Norm, it's a little known fact the word "Florida" comes from the language of the Okefenokee Indians and it means literally, "place where the old people come to sweat".

Quote from What Is... Cliff Clavin?

Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's all right, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet "22,000 big ones"? Which takes you down to zero. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Alex Trebek: Isn't going to work, Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 is not a big total, but today it's enough to make you the new Jeopardy! champion. So congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions! You saw me, America! Write in and tell them!
Norm: Come on, Wood, if we sneak out right now, nobody will know we're with him.
Cliff: Tony Curtis, if you're out there, if you can hear me, call in, and I'll split the pot with you. Ah, for crying out loud, look... Any mail carriers out there?