Frasier: Hey, Woody. I'll have a nice, tall iced tea.
Woody: Yeah, just a second, Dr. Crane. I got to take a couple aspirin. I got a splitting headache.
Frasier: You know, there's a school of thought that suggests that all physical pain... Headache, earache, stomachache, what have you...
Woody: A headache. Pay attention.
Frasier: Thank you. Anyway, these people say that those pains are merely physical manifestations of some deeper trauma, either psychological, emotional, or spiritual. See, suppose you just relax and try to remember the very thing you were thinking when the headache first started. Then we may be able to get to the root of the problem.
Woody: All right. Well, I was standing here and I was thinking about how when I was a little kid, I was the only kid in my town who didn't have a bicycle.
Frasier: OK. Go on.
Woody: I mean, all the other kids had one. Why not me?
Frasier: Excellent...
Woody: And then I bent down real fast to pick up a napkin... [clonk] Ohh! I hit my head again! So what do you think it is, Dr. Crane?
[Frasier takes a couple of aspirin himself]

Norm: Rebecca, they do not fry people for insider trading.
Rebecca: What if they do, Norm? What if they do? I mean, I love that man, and I am just about ready to lose him. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be without Vera for 20 years?
Norm: Oh, my God.
Rebecca: You see? You'd miss Vera.
Norm: I thought you said beer.

Frasier: Well, it's always good to see justice done. But I have to tell you, I hate to think of the poor man in prison. Those wretched places are filled with the worst degenerates, the most worthless dirty scum ever on this planet.
Norm: Frasier, why would you say that?
Frasier: Well, I was a prison counselor. You know, very often, I was their only friend.