Sam: How much are you going to take before you realize this guy is no good for you?
Rebecca: I don't know, Sam. How much does it take when you're in love with someone? You know, I've heard stories about you and that Diane girl. You put up with her for 5 years. 5 years! What about that?
Sam: Sweetheart, if I could have sent her to prison, don't you think I would have?

Sam: Tell her the worst part.
Norm: Oh, she made us carry this huge, heavy desk.
Sam: No, no. The part... She could go to jail for this.
Norm: Yeah, but, Sammy, that was some heavy desk. What kind of Wood was that made out of?
Cliff: It must have been oak. Yeah, it's one of your heavier grains. Yeah. As any lumberjack will tell you, though, it's not the toughest one to cut through. Doc, what do you think the toughest thing to cut through is?
Frasier: Your unending bull.

Rebecca: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, you guys. Let's not jump to any wild conclusions here. Let's just look at the facts. Now, all we really know is that Robin is using my secret password to break into my corporation's confidential files. And from the date on these, it looks like he's been doing it since... Well, since the day after we first slept together. So all I think we can really conclude from this is that... I am too stupid to live!