Woody Quote #323
Cliff: So, uh, what do you got in there, Woodski?
Woody: Oh, boy. My Aunt Edna's killer fudge brownies.
Cliff: Ooh, killers, huh?
Woody: Yeah, they're called that because the first time my Uncle Ford ever smelled them baking, he came running in from the field and got hit by a combine. He hung on for a few days. At the end, he was just praying to die. Well, eat up, everybody.
Quote from Norm
Kim: Norman, I pride myself on being a very perceptive person. Now, is something amiss?
Norm: [nods] Yeah. Sam and I have had a tiff.
Robert: Look. Maybe meeting Michael is just the thing you need. I mean, he lives right around the corner. Kim, go call him.
Norm: No. No, no, no, no, no, folks, please. I can't go on with this any longer. Look, I don't care if it costs me the job. I got to tell you the truth, okay? I wanted to be your decorator, so I pretended to be who I thought you wanted me to be, but it's time that I came out of the closet. I'm straight.
Robert: Impossible. [Kim laughs]
Norm: No, no, I- I... Ever since I was a little boy, I've known that I preferred girls. Actually, I'm a guy with a wife. I mean, uh, I sleep with Vera. Well, you know, I sleep next to her. Actually, it's in the room next to her, but, uh, I do keep the door open. [sighs] But the point is, you know, I think you should judge people for what they do, not for who they do.
Quote from Norm
Woody: Want another beer, Mr. P.?
Norm: Love to, Woody, but I got to get back to painting Frasier and Lilith's place. This is the first job anyone's given me in, like, four months, so I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize it. I'm really making an effort this time to be the kind of dependable professional that I'd like to have working for me. [exits]
Woody: See you, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: [returns] What, Wood?
Woody: I said, I'll see you.
Norm: Well, damn it, Woody. Now you made me late, man. All right, as long as I'm late, I'll just have another beer, I guess.
Quote from Bar Wars VI: This Time It's for Real
Sam: Come on. It's a golden opportunity. We can win this time. We can steal all of Gary's best ideas and use 'em against this new guy. And you remember how Gary's always going first? We can learn from that. We can move first ourselves.
Frasier: Very good, Sam. As that famous prankster Santayana once said, "Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it."
Woody: You got that right, Doctor Crane. Back in high school I was condemned to repeat History three times. By the way, the same goes for Mathematics.