Diane Quote #677

Quote from Diane in Dog Bites Cliff

Diane: Um, that was a Buddhist monastery called The Glade. I've been hoping to go on retreat there, and guess what? They have a vacancy.
Sam: Oh, great! Yeah, I heard all the monks went to Fort Lauderdale this year.
Diane: No, Sam, it's not a resort. It's a contemplative retreat where people go as a means of purifying their souls. For two weeks, you're isolated from others to commune with yourself. You are provided with a small room. You're fed pure, toxin-free foods. Oh, oh, wait, wait. And they have the biggest Buddha east of the Mississippi.
Sam: Ooh! Man! Boy, he is a bruiser, isn't he?
Sam: Well, it's not exactly Vegas, but, uh, all right, I'll give it a try. Wh- Wh- What should I bring?
Diane: Oh. No, Sam I'm going alone. Only in my solitude can I discover who we are.

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 ‘Dog Bites Cliff’ Quotes

Quote from Woody

Woody: Oh, man, that Hulk Hogan is amazing, isn't he?
Frasier: Woody, the thing is fixed.
Woody: Oh, that's too bad. Hulk Hogan can't have children.
Frasier: It's evolution's loss.

Quote from Woody

Cliff: I guess we were like a pair of lovers that were never meant to be. Like Romeo and Juliet. Rhett, Scarlett. Heathcliff, Kathy.
Woody: Heath, Cliff and Kathy? Isn't that three people, Mr. Clavin?

Quote from Woody

[As Woody goes to answer the phone, he accidentally drops it in a bucket of water on account of his injured arm.]
Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Yeah, oh, just a minute, please. Mr. Clavin, for you.
Cliff: Uh, take a message. I'll call 'em back, Wood.
Woody: Yeah, can he get back to you? Oh, yes, ma'am. She wants to know how your leg is.
Cliff: Eh? Eh? See? The mutt's owner tracked me down. Well, tell her that she can deep-six that phony concern of hers. It doesn't cut it with me.
Woody: You can deep-six your phony concern. It doesn't cut it with him.
Cliff: Tell her my leg and I will see her in court.
Woody: His leg and him will see you in court. Oh, okay, I'll tell him. [hangs up] Uh, your mom wants you to be home by 6:00 for dinner.
Cliff: Woody, Woody, why didn't you tell me it was my mother?
Woody: I just did.
Cliff: No, I mean before.
Woody: Well, I didn't know it was her till I picked up the phone.
Cliff: No, Woody... When you were talkin' to her, why didn't you say it was her?
Woody: She already knew that.
Sam: Uh, I'd leave it alone, Cliff. I think it's one of those Zen koan things.