Sam: Woody, get that man a club soda, no ice, two slices of lime, and a red straw.
Woody: [chuckles] Is that really what you want?
Eddie LeBec: Yes, sir.
Woody: How'd you know that, Sam?
Sam: He ordered it yesterday.
Woody: Oh, well, then I'd better hurry.

Carla: But he pays for everything. You know, movies, parking, refreshments. Do you know how much a tub of popcorn is going for these days?
Norm: It's, uh, $3.70 at the Alto.
Carla: Yeah, that Eddie takes care of me real good.
Sam: But you're not falling for him, right?
Carla: Oh, look, who are we fooling here, Sam? I mean, you know my luck with men. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting some bum who once dumped on me. And Eddie LeBec is a star. You know, once he's been here a while, he'll know a lot more people, and it's "Bye-bye, Carla."
Sam: Hey.
Carla: No way some guy like that ends up with me.
Sam: Listen, will you stop cutting yourself short? You offer a lot of things to a guy.
Carla: Oh, yeah, sure. Six kids, mortgage up to my ears, stack of bills, dead-end job and fallen arches.
Sam: You know, if I weren't already engaged...

Frasier: Dr. Frasier Crane, noted psychiatrist, winner of the Mildred Bergen Fellowship, author of 27 published articles, is out on bail.
Diane: Frasier, what happened?
Frasier: Well, you know, I've always prided myself on being a man of control and maturity. But suddenly I was swept up into this crowd's excitement. Well, damn me to a junior college for saying it, I was enjoying myself. But I guess the controlled mayhem of the situation made me more assertive. Also, there was this guy sitting in front of me who insisted on wearing his cowboy hat. Well, I asked this huckleberry several times to remove it, and he refused, and so then I just took it off his head and handed it to him, and he handed it back to me with his fist in it. [Sam laughs] Next thing I know, I'm in a holding cell at some North End station house with the cast of The Road Warrior.
Woody: Did you get Mel Gibson's autograph?
Sam: So, uh, so you had a little fight. You stood up for yourself. Come on, look me in the eye face-to-face here. Didn't it feel great?
Frasier: Well, I have to admit, there was a moment there when I had a feeling of satisfaction like never before in my life. Sorry, Diane.