Diane: The last time we had an official parting of the ways there was some question as to who left whom. That is why this time I've gone to the trouble of tendering my resignation in the written form. Legal precedent states that the written document always supersedes the spoken word, especially when it's spoken by a goof.
Sam: Oh, fine. Fine. Who cares? See you in the funny papers.
Diane: Oh, that's perfect. The funny papers. Don't say another word. Let that be the last utterance I remember. And now I'm off to begin a new life. I shall forget you in a trice.
Sam: Oh, a trice? Please, let that be the last word I hear from you.
Diane: You troglodyte.
Sam: That's even better!

Diane: Attention, everyone. May I have your attention, please? I have resigned. I know this comes as a shock, but I've decided that I no longer fit into the scheme of things around here. I go willingly with a gladful heart, for it has been my pleasure to serve you, and my privilege to know you, lo, these many years. I shall miss you all. But weep no tears for Diane Chambers. She's tougher than you think. She's going to be okay. You bet she is. So this is goodbye. For there's one thing I know: You will never, ever see me again. Farewell.
[After Diane leaves without her coat, she sticks her hand back through the door, facing away from the crowd, to try grab it from the coat rack. As Diane reaches for the coat, Carla pulls the coat rack away from her, until Diane is forced to lean back into the bar and face everyone]
Carla: Hey, look, everyone. It's Diane.

Frasier: Welcome to the losers' club, baby. Now that you've paid your dues, here's your membership card. Yeah, we're a pair, aren't we? A couple of chumps that life just kicked in the teeth, and why am I talking like Broderick Crawford?
Diane: Frasier, I know you think I'm jealous of Janet and Sam's relationship, but I'm not. I just don't want to see him get hurt. That's really all there is to it.
Frasier: I think you're kidding yourself, Diane. We both know the reason you've been down in the dumps. But believe me, there's no need to be. Sam is not really happy with that woman. Just imagine the mental strain it must be trying to use the right fork all the time. Don't give up hope. I haven't.
Diane: You're a lovely man. I'm sorry I hurt you. I wish there was some way I could make you forgive me.
Frasier: Well, marry me. Bear my children. Let me die in your arms.
Diane: I was thinking more along the lines of making fudge.
Frasier: Well, I like your fudge.