Carla: Making a date with a stranger over the telephone is a big mistake, Diane. I tried it. It was nothing but trouble. Of course, mine was an obscene phone call.

Diane: For the first time in my life, I let appearance taint my feelings toward a man.
Sam: Boy, you know what's wrong with you? You just can't be honest with yourself. Looks are all that ever mattered to you.
Diane: What are you talking about? That is utterly inaccurate.
Sam: Oh, yeah? Want me to prove it to you?
Diane: Yes.
Sam: Who were you more crazy about than anyone else in your entire life? Uh, not including yourself there. Don't answer. It was me. And there was only one reason why you ever went out with me, and that was because of my looks.
Diane: Not entirely.
Sam: Yes, entirely. Name one other reason why anyone would go out with me. Go on, name one. You can't, can you?
Diane: No, Sam, I can't. [Sam laughs; everyone cheers]

Diane: [to a pair of older customers] I suppose you're wondering why a person of my breeding would be working among the lumpen proletariat. Do you mind? I'm researching a novel, and working here gives me insight into their simple pleasures.
Norm: Oh, wait, wait. They're zooming in on a cheerleader here.
Sam: I think I've zoomed in on that one myself.
Diane: This language supplies the rich texture that distinguished Fitzgerald's work.
Norm: Cliffie, here comes the wave.
[As a Mexican wave goes around the bar, Diane raises from the table]
Diane: Well, you have to go along with them, or they get testy.
[As the Mexican wave returns, Diane and her two customers also raise]
Diane: That's good.