Cliff: So while it's a common belief that the Tyrannosaurus rex was the king of the dinosaurs, you know, as a-- As indicated by the appellative "-saurus," the smartest of the spiny reptiles was actually the thyropatroid.

Sam: I bet you wanna know how it went in Italy.
Norm: Uh... No, no, not really. How about you, Cliffie?
Sam: Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. Got off the plane and I took a cab to the Marino estate, where I had been told they were gonna get married. But they wouldn't let me in, so I jumped over the fence and landed in the middle of seven snarling rottweilers.
Cliff: Ooh, rottweilers. It comes from the German word "Rott--"
Sam: Uh, Cliff, shut up.
Cliff: Yes, sir.
Sam: Luckily, I outsmarted the dogs by diving into a moat. While the police were fishing me out, I discovered that Diane and Frasier had decided to get married someplace else. This was right before they threw me in jail.
Norm: Jail? How'd you get out?
Sam: Well, a local landowner bailed me out. Actually, he didn't bail me out. There's a different system over there. He purchased me. Seems... Seems his ox died or something. I really don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna be in my office. Oh, yeah, one more thing. I am through with that woman forever. I will never think about, see or mention her ever again. And if anyone even uses the words "Diane Chambers," I will have no other choice but to kill that person. [exits]
Customer: Wow. Poor guy. Who is this Diane Chambers anyhow?
[Sam emerges from his office with a golf club]
Sam: Who said that?
[After the customer and Norm point to Cliff, Sam chases him into the back room]
Cliff: No! No! No!

Woody: Excuse me, my name's Woody Boyd.
Sam: Woody. Hi, I'm Sam Malone.
Woody: Howdy. I'm a friend of Coach's. Is he around?
Sam: I'm sorry, Woody. I guess you hadn't heard. No, Coach passed away a couple of months ago. But, yeah, I'd like to think he's still around.
Woody: Coach, gone. I can hardly believe it.
Sam: Well, he had a lot of friends. I don't- I don't remember him mentioning a Woody.
Woody: Well, we never met. We were kind of like pen pals.
Sam: You exchanged letters?
Woody: No, pens. It was Coach's idea.
Sam: Oh, well, that figures.