Cliff Quote #198

Quote from Cliff in Rescue Me

Carla: Pretty fancy answering machine you've got there, Sam.
Sam: Uh-huh. Deluxe model, top of the line.
Cliff: I hate answering machines. You know, I never know what to say to them.
Carla: Gee, and you're such a whiz with people.
Cliff: Sammy, I know you think it's a convenience of sorts, but it's a poor substitute for a human being and I think you ought to trash it.
Sam: Are you kidding? This is an expensive machine.
Cliff: I'm talking about Carla. [laughs] Like to see her top that one, huh? [Carla pulls off a tuft of Cliff's mustache] Touche!

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 ‘Rescue Me’ Quotes

Quote from Carla

Carla: What are you doing? Can't you see this is a twisted cry for help? Sammy, I'm here for you.
Sam: Carla, knock it off. I'm not saying I'm going. I just wanna find out if I can. That's all.
Carla: I don't get it, Sammy. Why Diane? Why not arsenic or strychnine?
Norm: Let's see if I'm following all of this. Carla, you think Diane is bad for Sam.

Quote from Coach

Dan Corelli: Say, aren't you Ernie Pantusso?
Coach: Are you talking to me, sir?
Dan Corelli: Yeah. Yes, I am. Well, I'll be damned. Do you remember me?
Coach: No, I'm sorry. I don't.
Dan Corelli: Let me give you a hint.
Coach: I like hints.
Dan Corelli: Shortstop. Topeka, 1947. My nickname was "Fancy Dan".
Coach: Joe Pitney!
Dan Corelli: No, Ernie. I'm Dan Corelli.
Coach: Danny Corelli! My God, am I happy to see you! Hey, everybody, listen up. This is one of the most amazing men in the world. One of the most amazing men that ever stepped into a baseball diamond. He was a great ball-player. I know, I played against him. But, listen, the man is totally blind!
Dan Corelli: Ernie, I'm not blind and I never was.
Coach: Come on, Corelli, don't be modest. You were a legend. You were an absolute legend. The whole league talked about the blind man who played short-stop for Topeka.
Dan Corelli: Ernie, you're all confused. They called me the Blind Man because I sold Venetian blinds door-to-door during the off season.
Coach: My God, how did he find the doorbell? Now, is that an inspirational story or not, huh? They didn't buy your product out of pity, I'm telling you, Corelli.
Dan Corelli: I'll see you later.
Coach: Corelli, watch it, the steps there, please!
Carla: Coach, I think he can see as well as we can.
Coach: Carla, in some ways, he can see more.

Quote from Cliff

Sam: Does anyone know how long it takes to get to Italy from here?
Carla: OK, nobody panic!
Cliff: Sammy, you can make it from here to Italy in 8 hours, 37 minutes, 22 seconds. With a good tail wind.
Sam: Seriously?
Cliff: Well, unless you take the polar route. In which case you run into those convex currents created by the Aurora Borealis.
Carla: You're a roaring bore-ealis.