Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Ooh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mr. Lucky, huh?

Norm: Oh, my God! That's my boss. He saw me slip out early. He's come here to find me.
Diane: You got here the same time you always do.
Norm: I know. I always leave early. I refuse to be one of those little, cowardly clock-watchers, Diane. As soon as my supervisor turns his head, I always slip out the heating duct.
Diane: How would he know you're here?
Norm: The company's full of spies. They know everything about you.
Diane: Really?
Norm: Yeah, they know everything about you. They even keep track of your sex habits. Thank God I don't have any.

Mr. Hecht: Peterson, we've been making some organizational changes in the company. And starting tomorrow, we want you to be our corporate killer.
Norm: The guy who fires people?
Mr. Hecht: That's right. You see, we decided that terminating employees puts too much stress on our executives. We think you'll be perfect.
Norm: Why me?
Mr. Hecht: Because studies have shown that it's particularly humiliating when you're fired by somebody who is clearly and markedly superior to yourself. And that just wouldn't be the case with you, Norman. You see, you're just an ordinary Joe. As a matter of fact, we checked out your home life. You have absolutely nothing anyone could possibly envy or resent.
Norm: I'm honored, sir. But this sounds like a horrible job, frankly.
Mr. Hecht: It's a 300% raise and if you don't take it, you're fired.
Norm: Sir, I will have you know that I cannot be bought and I cannot be threatened, but you put the two together and I'm your man.