Sam Quote #431
Quote from Sam in The Mail Goes to Jail
Sam: Diane, I can't get to you. The opening of the air duct is too small.
Diane: [o.s.] Oh, Coach, call the furnace man, please, and tell him it's an emergency.
Coach: I already called him again, honey, this evening. He said he might not make it at all.
Diane: [o.s.] Sam, do something.
Sam: I will, sweetheart. I know somebody else I can call. But listen. I mean this. If you say the word, I will rip this floor up to get you out of there.
Diane: [o.s.] Oh, do it, Sam, please.
Sam: That's not the word. [laughs]
Diane: [o.s.] Swine.
Sam: No, no, you're getting colder.
Cheers Quotes
‘The Mail Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Cliff: All right, look, I'll call and see what the penalty is, but it's got to be anonymous.
Coach: OK, everybody in favor of Cliff calling, raise your hand. [all hands go up] It's anonymous. Not even an extension.
Quote from Diane
Diane: Bambi?
Sam: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Diane: Well, I suppose it's better than Dumbo or Goofy. Not as appropriate, but...
Sam: Coach, can I have my flashlight, please?
Diane: You know, Sam I can't help but noticing that Bambi wasn't the same little deer that you left here with on Friday.
Sam: No, I got rid of Cindy. We weren't compatible.
Diane: Really? What was the problem there?
Sam: Dumb as a post.
Diane: Oh, with so much in common, I can't imagine why you two went awry.
Sam: No, I'm serious. I mean, she just wasn't my intellectual equal.
Diane: You should have said you're looking for an intellectual equal. I could introduce you to something that's growing on my shower curtain.
Quote from Cliff
Norm: How many letters you got left?
Cliff: I don't know. Seven or eight. [eats soup] Boy, this tastes good.
Norm: Hey, these are all on my way home. Let me drop these off for you, Cliffie. I've got to go home anyway.
Cliff: No, Norm, you're not trained. You're not qualified.
Norm: What qualified? You drop them in a slot. A chimp could do it.
Cliff: A chimp? No way. They did a study at the University of Michigan. Chimps were 32% slower. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were better with customer relations and everything, but...