Coach Quote #281

Quote from Coach in An American Family

Sam: Anyway, listen, I'll make sure they don't put me in the same room at the Pequod.
Diane: I could care less. Room number 12.
Sam: Hey, you know, that was a great room, 12. Remember when that nor'easter blew through, and we had to stay inside by that big old fireplace?
Diane: Yeah. We listened to the wind lashing against the panes, the rain on the roof.
Sam: Huddled under that big comforter. I never felt safer.
Coach: Me neither.
Sam: You weren't there, Coach.
Coach: Oh, I thought you meant now.

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 ‘An American Family’ Quotes

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah, Sammy, I don't think you ever hit over 150.
Norm: Wait, I got 20 bucks says he did, big guy.
Cliff: Whoa, you're on, sucker.
Norm: All right, kiss that Andrew Jackson goodbye.
Diane: It's beyond me why the two of you insist on making a contest out of the most meaningless issues.
Cliff: No, no, no. On the contrary there, Diane. We also address ourselves to some of the most vital and meaningful issues of our times. For instance, if south-east Asia were to be obliterated by a nuclear attack, Norm here would have to push a peanut up Boylston Street with his nose.
Norm: But only as far as the corner. Come on, peace.

Quote from Norm

Cliff: Normie, Normie, Normie. I hate to be the one to tell you this. But Sam's batting average never went past 149. Here it is. Right in the stat book.
Norm: 149.
Cliff: That's right. And I don't wanna be the kind of guy who rubs it in, so just let me say... [chuckles] [Coach laughs]
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah? Well, I have a little bad news for you, Cliffie. It so happens that I made a side bet with the Coach that if you won you'd be obnoxious, so I come out even. [Coach laughs]
Sam: Hey, troops, I'm back! What? What's so funny?
Coach: Normie just lost a bundle to Cliffie on a bet.
Norm: But the Coach just lost a bundle to me.
Cliff: But the funniest thing is, Sam, it's based on the fact that you couldn't hit a baseball to save your life!
Coach: Know what's even funnier than that, Sam?
Sam: What?
Coach: Cliffie spends 30 bucks on a book to win a 20 dollar bet.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah? Well, you lent me the money, Norm. You know I'm never going to pay you back.
Diane: You know, the way you positively revel in each other's defeats is totally reprehensible. Are you ever as pleased with each other's good fortune?
Norm: Who's had any?

Quote from Carla

Carla: Nick! What the hell do you want?
Nick Tortelli: Hey! Is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.
Nick Tortelli: I gotta talk to you. I would have come by the house, but I didn't want Loretta to see my humble beginnings. I need a simple favor.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.