Cliff Quote #132
Cliff: Norm, it's a little known fact the word "Florida" comes from the language of the Okefenokee Indians and it means literally, "place where the old people come to sweat".
Quote from Coach
Coach: Oh, hi, sweetheart. Are you ready for the best dinner of your life?
Irene: Ernie, every dinner I have with you is better than the one before it. [all aww]
Coach: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is Wednesday. Every Wednesday up at Melville's the vegetable is spinach. Spinach is green and you know what that means, right? So please sit down. I've got a couple of questions. What I want to say is... Oh, wait a minute I got it. Uh, Irene... l'm not a rich man. I'm not a young man. I'm not a handsome man. I'm not a tall man. I'm not a strong man. I'm not a talented man. I'm not a well-traveled man. I'm not a smart man. I'm not a milkman. I'm not a fat man. I'm not a gingerbread man. I'm...
Irene: What are you trying to say?
Coach: Oh, I don't need a piece of paper to tell you what my feelings are. Irene... Well, maybe I do. I'm not a rich man. I'm not a young...
All: Coach! [Sam points to his heart]
Coach: Oh, yes, Sam. Look, Irene, what I'm trying to say is, I love you and I want you to marry me, but I can't find the words to say it.
Irene: Ernie, you've said all the words you need to. I'd love to be your wife.
Coach: She said yes!
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Well, another day shot, huh? I guess I'll just slip off to the old hacienda and close the peepers. Well, good night.
Cliff: Well, it's not really later in Florida, Sammy. It's a popular misconception. It's Eastern Standard Daylight Time down there, too. Speaking of time, boy, it really stops still when you're in the Everglades. Boy, they have got huge gators down there. You know, gators are what we who are familiar with Florida call alligators. Yeah, they have huge gators and crocs. You all know what a croc is?
All: Oh, yeah.
Cliff: Well, the first morning there was crystalline. As I was stepping out of the hydrofoil, the captain, Billy Bob Dupre, I think his name was, asked me not to bring the beach umbrella. Well, because it got caught in the prop on the way out...
Quote from What Is... Cliff Clavin?
Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's all right, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet "22,000 big ones"? Which takes you down to zero. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Alex Trebek: Isn't going to work, Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 is not a big total, but today it's enough to make you the new Jeopardy! champion. So congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions! You saw me, America! Write in and tell them!
Norm: Come on, Wood, if we sneak out right now, nobody will know we're with him.
Cliff: Tony Curtis, if you're out there, if you can hear me, call in, and I'll split the pot with you. Ah, for crying out loud, look... Any mail carriers out there?
Quote from Teaching with the Enemy
Frasier: I want you all to know... I'm not blaming her. It's because of me that my life is in the arms of another man.
Woody: Uh, well, you mean "wife," don't you, Dr. Crane?
Woody: You said "life." "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man."
Cliff: Oh, that's a- That's a Freudian slip there, Woody.
Woody: What's a Freudian slip?
Cliff: Oh, that's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.