Cliff Quote #117

Quote from Cliff in Fairy Tales Can Come True

Cliff: Hello, everyone. And a happy All Hallows' Eve. Guess who I am.
Coach: Cliff Clavin.
Cliff: No, Coach, let me give you a hint. I went to Florida to find the fountain of youth.
Coach: Cliff Clavin.
Cliff: No, Coach, I'm Ponce de Leon.
Coach: Well, I think your ears are too big.
Cliff: What, for Ponce de Len?
Coach: No, for you, Cliffie.
Cliff: Oh, I don't know, Coach. I happen to be very proud of my big ears. You know, a lot of women consider them erogenous zones during heavy petting.

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 ‘Fairy Tales Can Come True’ Quotes

Quote from Sam

Diane: Actually, the Boston Pops was the one cultural event, albeit heavily sugar-coated, that Sam genuinely liked.
Sam: Yeah. I especially liked the 18...somethingth overture.
Frasier: 1812.
Sam: Hey, you really know your stuff. Yeah. You know, till Diane dragged me to that concert, I never realized just how many years of practice and dedication it takes to become a classical musician.
Frasier: Well, anyone in particular impress you?
Sam: Oh, yeah, yeah. The guy on the cannons. He's incredible. You know, I mean, I actually thought about taking it up myself, but I think it's one of those things you have to start when you're very, very young.
Frasier: Yes, they say to be truly great, you do. Yes.
Sam: That's what I thought.

Quote from Coach

Sam: Why don't you guys lighten up on Cliff, huh?
Alan: Sorry, Sam. But you've got to admit, it's a little bit weird, isn't it? I mean, he's never been married. I've never even seen him with a woman.
Steve: Hey, Norm, he's your best friend. Is he gay or what?
Coach: I can't believe what I'm hearing! You can't tell a gay guy by his appearance. We had an outfielder on the Red Sox, Duke Roberts. I mean, he never got married. He never went with girls. He even wore those fancy Italian shoes. And he lived with a guy who was a florist. And Duke wasn't gay.
Sam: Yes, he was, Coach.
Coach: He was? Do you think he'd like to meet Cliffie?

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Well, there are many theories as to why the Florida orange is far superior to its Californian counterpart. Now, I personally think it's the trace mineral element in the Floridian water. That's obviously due to the frequency of the typhoons and the nitrogen-rich alligator guano. You know, furthermore, there's three-
Man: Say, I just remembered I left my oven on. [to himself] If I hurry home, I can stick my head in it.