Coach: Diane, if you're looking for a place to stay, there's a lovely little inn up in Vermont that my wife and I used to drive to all the time.
Diane: What inn?
Coach: In my station wagon.

Carla: Look. You always claim you know the answers to everything. Well, I'm calling your bluff. I am going to give you a chance to handle my problem. I give you 30 seconds. If you blow it, I'm sending you back out there and your face stays here.
Diane: Fair enough.
Carla: My ex-husband is getting remarried tonight. Here's the invite.
Diane: How terrible for you. I understand completely. You've never really stopped loving him. I can see this invitation is soaked with your tears.
Carla: That's my spit. I don't love that rat and I never did. Sure, there were little things I loved about him, like the way he flexed his tattoo. The way the hair grew in his ears. The way he drooled in bed.

Norm: Diane, Vera and I once went to this really, romantic, beautiful old place called the Fairview in New Hampshire.
Diane: Oh, yeah?
Norm: Yeah. Really romantic. They don't have any telephones or televisions. They just have these old fireplaces and these romantic old feather beds, antiques I think, so you really have to kind of snuggle up there to your loved one.
Diane: Oh?
Norm: Best part of it for me was that they had this old romantic circular driveway, you know, so I didn't even have to stop. I just rolled through and yelled, "Cancel Peterson."