Carla: Hiya, Sam.
Sam: Hey, Carla. Did you just get pregnant in the last five minutes?
Carla: No. I could, but this is just stuffing.
Sam: Why?
Carla: Well, I'm a little short and my rent is due, and I found out they give better tips to pregnant women.
Coach: It's absolutely dishonest, Sam. I mean, you should tell her to get rid of it.
Sam: I can't do that, Coach. She's Catholic.
Carla: Hey, would you watch it? I'm in a family way here.
[To a woman at a table as Carla adjusts her "baby bump"]
Carla: The kid's going to be a swimmer.

Cliff: [without moving] Carla, you stay out of this. Me and Norm will handle it.
Norm: Me. What do you want me to do?
Cliff: Norm, we gotta do something. Look, trust me. Statistics show that 33% of the time a guy carrying a gun will not use that gun if challenged.
Norm: So?
Cliff: Well, so, if he's already shot two people today, you're in luck. Now get him.

Diane: Andy, what's the matter?
Andy: You kissed him. I saw you.
Diane: Oh, that's all right. I guess it's no secret here. Sam and I have sort of a thing going.
Andy: But I love you... and you said you love me.
Diane: Oh, dear. No, I was speaking as a friend, Andy. If I gave you any other impression, I'm sorry. Really sorry. I do love you, as a friend. OK?
Andy: Sure.
Diane: You're not upset?
Andy: No, no.
Diane: You're not angry with me?
Andy: That's OK. I'll use it in my performance. "Yet she must die else she betray more men."
Diane: Wonderful. That was perfect.
Andy: [to himself] "Put out the light and then put out the light."