Sam: Yeah, Derek's always been like that, always had to have the spotlight, had to be the center of attention.
Carla: Yeah, well, you know if it's any consolation to you, Sam, I know how you feel. I got a sister who's got me beat in every way. She's five foot two, her husband never has a drink until noon, and she's a beautician. How do you compete with that? But after a while I said to myself, "To hell with her. I'm me."
Sam: What you're trying to say is I'm as good as my brother?
Carla: You kidding? You're not even as good as my sister. But I still like you best, Sam.

Carla: Coach?
Coach: Si?
Carla: Did you know Sam has a brother?
Coach: Of course I know he had a brother. He hates him.
Carla: Why does he hate him?
Coach: He was cruel to him. When Sam was a kid, he used to shove his head underwater. Hey, wait a minute. That was my brother. Come to think of it, that was my head.

Diane: You know what your problem is, Mr. Malone? You are afraid of your feelings.
Sam: I am not afraid of my feelings. I don't have any feelings about this. Whatever you and my brother Derek want to do is OK with me. I don't care.
Diane: Fine.
Sam: Please don't go.
Diane: What? What did you say?
Sam: I said I have no feelings about this.
Diane: No, no, after that. You said something. It sounded like "Please don't go."
Sam: Please don't go? Are you crazy? Diane, you gotta get over this egotism of yours. Go. Go, with my blessings. Go. Have a good time, really. Please stay here.
Diane: Wait a minute. What was that? There at the end you said something.
Sam: Come on, you're hallucinating. Would you get outta here and have a good time, please? Go on, go on.
Diane: OK, I'm glad you understand.
Sam: If you go, I'll die.
Diane: What?! I heard you say something.
Sam: Oh, come on, you're coming unglued. Please go. Have fun.
Diane: OK, I'll go.
Sam: There you go.
Diane: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go freshen up. I'd rather stay with you.
Sam: What? What did you say?
Diane: I didn't hear anything.