Helen: Darling, think hard. There's so little time. Don't you know anyone who'd be willing to marry you for a few days?
Diane: Well, I'm afraid there's no one that I'm steadily dating at the moment.
Carla: Excuse me, rich lady. You know, I couldn't help overhearing your problems. Your daughter has a hot thing for the bartender.
Diane: I do not!
Helen: She likes Red? He's dumb enough to be your father.
Carla: Not him. Sam.
Diane: I care nothing. I feel nothing. Sam who?
Carla: Hey, come off it. You know, we've all noticed how you two go around, looking at each other like lovesick cows. Admit it. He's got you steaming under the silks.
Diane: This happens to be my mother.
Carla: Well, that's why I'm being delicate.

Sam: I just want to say it's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Chambers.
Helen: It's nice to meet you, Sam. Diane's told me about you. You're almost as handsome as she says you think you are.
Sam: There's a compliment in there someplace, I'm sure.

Diane: You're taking this all too personally and you shouldn't. It's just Mommy doesn't like bars.
Norm: Well, bars can be very sad places. Some people spend their whole lives in a bar. Just yesterday, some guy sat right here next to me for 11 hours.
Cliff: Yeah, what kind of a life is that?
Norm: Well, it's pitiful. You know, the sad thing is, you know that guy will be sitting in a bar somewhere right now, drinking a beer, going on and on about nothing.