Carla: So what are we gonna do about these guys, huh?
Diane: Carla, you're not prejudiced against gays, are you?
Carla: Well, I'm not exactly crazy about them. I mean, I get enough competition from women. I'm telling you, if guys keep coming out of the closet, there isn't going to be anybody left to date, and I'm going to have to start going out with girls. [shudders]
Diane: Carla, you don't have to worry about me. I like my dates a little more masculine than you. Not much, but a little.

Sam: I just can't believe it. I mean, the guy was a hound, Diane. He had women everywhere. We'd be on the road, we'd go into hotel lobbies, there'd be three or four women holding up kids.
Diane: He covers that. He covers that.
Sam: Where?
Diane: Here. Here, in this paragraph. You want me to read it?
Sam: No, I'll read it. Right there?
Diane: Yes.
Sam: "From the outside, my days in baseball seemed glorious, but the greater my fear became of my true sexuality, the more I compensated with typical Don Juan promiscuity."
Diane: Does that explain it?
Sam: I don't know. I've only read it once.

Diane: Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but you've gone so far in proving you're open-minded, Norman. There are two homosexual gentlemen in this bar at this moment.
Jack: Come on. Get outta here.
Diane: They told me they were gay, and they appreciated what Sam had done. That's right. They're here right now and you don't even know who they are.
Jack: Nah, she's kidding. Everybody here checks out all right.
Norm: Well, I don't know. It occurs to me that Cliff hasn't had a date in quite some time.
Jack: He's right.
Cliff: Oh yeah, Norm? Well, how come we've never seen this Vera you're allegedly married to, huh?