Norm Quote #51
Coach: Norm, I thought you were going out to Maine for the holidays with Vera?
Norm: Yeah, I am, Coach.
Coach: Well, what happened?
Norm: Nothing. Nothing. Vera drove up last night and I had to stick around for an interview. I'm gonna drive up tonight. She left me the directions here. [pulls out a piece of paper] Should have no trouble finding the place.
Diane: Getting away, Norman?
Norm: Yeah. We got just the two of us. Oh, there's big trees up there, you know. They got a frozen lake, one radio station.
Diane: It sounds very romantic, Norman.
Norm: Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Sailor: [to Sam] Where can a guy go for a good time around here?
Norm: Enjoy. [hands over paper] No, wait, pal, I can't. I can't do that to the navy.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: All right, here's a little-known fact. The smartest animal...
Cliff: ...is the pig.
Norm: What? They look pretty stupid.
Cliff: Yeah, your average oinker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scientists say if a pig had thumbs and a language, he could be trained to do manual labor.
Norm: You mean they'd be part of the workforce?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah. They'd give you 30 years of loyal service, then at the retirement dinner, you could eat 'em.
Quote from Sam
Diane: You bellowed?
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, I did. What are you trying to do?
Diane: I don't believe that guy's a spy for one minute. I think he's lying.
Sam: What? A customer in a bar is telling tall tales just to impress a waitress? Call 60 Minutes.
Diane: All right, when you put it that way. The thing is...
Sam: Look. Look, listen, why do you suppose people come to bars in the first place?
Diane: Oh, let me take a wild stab at that one. Perchance to drink?
Sam: Wrong. Wrong. They could do that at home. They come here to shoot off their mouths and get away with it. Listen, in this bar everybody gets to be a hero. Now, what's the harm?
Quote from Tan 'n' Wash
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.