Cliff: Hey, here's a little-known fact. Now, most of you were probably under the assumption that basketball was invented in these United States, right?
Man: Yeah, James Naismith, Springfield College.
Cliff: I can see it's a good thing I showed up tonight. Basketball was invented thousands of years ago by the Mayans. They played it for centuries.
Man: Is that true?
Norm: Sure.
Cliff: Watch me get the Coach on this one. Coach, I got a question for you. Who invented basketball?
Coach: The Mayans.
Norm: Way to go, Coach.
Cliff: Where did you hear that?
Coach: Well, how should I know? There must've been a Mayan in here bragging about it.

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Sam: What you up to, Norm?
Norm: My ears.
Coach: Want a beer, Norm?
Norm: Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?
Carla: There's a lady present, Norm.
Norm: Oh, sorry, Diane.

Sam: Sir? Save your quarter. That piano hasn't worked in 20 years.
Carla: Use the jukebox. It doesn't work either, but it's only a dime.
Norm: Sammy, why do you keep something around here that doesn't work?
Carla: Cos no-one else'll give her a job!