Coach Quote #44

Quote from Coach in Truce or Consequences

Diane: I reached out to her. That weasel. Coach, what do you do when you are so furious you have to do something?
Coach: Well, I know you'll think it's kind of crazy, but I bang my head on the bar.
Diane: Doesn't sound crazy to me. It might do me a lot of good right now.
Coach: Well, OK. [bangs his head on the bar]
Diane: No, don't. Stop that, please.
Coach: You feel better?
Diane: Yes. Thank you. How about you?
Coach: Oh, I feel fine. I mean, to me, it's kind of a picker-upper.

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 ‘Truce or Consequences’ Quotes

Quote from Coach

Diane: How dare he chastise her? She can barely scrape out a living. How much suffering does the poor woman have to do? She's raising four children, not to mention that one of them is Sam's...
Coach: One of Carla's kids is Sam's kid?
Diane: No. No, I didn't say that.
Coach: Wait a minute. Let me figure this out, now. Uh... Sam knows Carla five years, right? And Carla's youngest kid, Gino, is seven and a half. That's it. It works out.
Diane: Wait a minute. Gino is seven and a half years old?
Coach: Yeah.
Diane: And Sam and Carla have only known each other five years?
Coach: Right, but who would ever figure that Gino was Sam's kid?
Diane: She lied. She deliberately lied.
Coach: You mean that Gino's not Sam's kid?
Diane: No.
Coach: Holy mackerel! This is gonna break Sam's heart when he hears this.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hello. My name is Carla. I'll be your slave for the evening.

 Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso Quotes

Quote from Give Me a Ring Sometime

Coach: I'm knocking off, Sam. Home to my book.
Sam: Still working on that novel, huh, Coach?
Coach: Yeah, coming on six years now. I just got a feeling I might finish it tonight.
Diane: You're writing a novel?
Coach: No, reading one.

Quote from Peterson Crusoe

Diane: You know, it took a great deal of courage for Norman to do what he did. I admire and envy him. He has heeded Thoreau who admonished us that, quote, "Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify."
Coach: Why didn't he just say one 'simplify'?