Norm: [enters] Afternoon.
Sam: Hey, Norm!
Coach: Norm!
Norm: Gimme a beer, will you?
Coach: How's life treating you, Norm?
Norm: Like I just ran over its dog.

Coach: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You wanna talk about excitement, huh? Sam, tell 'em about opening day in New York. You come out of the bullpen on the seventh. The bases are loaded with pinstripes. Bobby Mercer's at the plate.
Sam: He hit a 400ft home run off me, Coach!
Coach: My God, it was the most exciting thing I ever saw!
Carla: Coach, this is Sam's interview. Why would he wanna talk about something bad happening to him?
Coach: You're right, Carla. I don't know what it is. You know, sometimes I just think of the smartest thing to say, and then it comes out so stupid.
Carla: That doesn't make any sense.
Coach: Well, you should have heard it before I said it!

Dave: What do we have here? Hi. Dave Richards, an old team-mate of Sam's.
Diane: Oh. Diane Chambers. I'm Sam's new waitress.
Dave: Sam have his brand on you yet?
Diane: Hardly.
Dave: Oh, well, then good. It's your lucky day. Not only am I incredibly good-looking, I'm also incredibly rich and incredibly nice.
Sam: And incredibly married!
Diane: Well, I am sorry to hear that.
Dave: You are?
Diane: Yes. I was hoping to reject you based solely on your personality.