Norm: Well, where the hell is this guy? He said he'd be here in 15 minutes. It's been nearly 20. Doesn't he realize this is an emergency?
Sam: Hey, calm down, will you Norm? He'll be here.
Norm: Well, it's a hell of a world we live in, Sam. We can put a man on the moon okay, but we can't get a beer tap repairman here in a reasonable amount of time.
Sam: Norm, sit down! Just relax. Why, why don't you have a, have a bottle of beer?
Norm: [scoffs] Yeah, right, a bottle. It's just not the same, Sam.
Woody: Well, I'm sure Mr. Clavin would let you have some of his beer.
Cliff: Well, I'm afraid not, Woody. No, no, you see, we, we knew that the taps were gonna be out of service for a while, Sam made an announcement. So I took a moment to figure out that if I take just a little sip every now and again, it would last until the repairman fixes yon tap. But, when I suggested the strategy to Mr. Peterson, he called me well, what was it you called me again, Norm?
Norm: Bozo.
Cliff: Right. I'm a bozo. I'm, uh, gonna go to the men's room now, okay. Excuse me.
Norm: Oh, right, and you're gonna take your beer with you? Come on, Cliff. We've been friends for 15 years. I'm so pathetic, you think I'm gonna steal my best friend's beer, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, you're right, Normie. I trust you.
[As Cliff saunters off to the bathroom, Norm downs his beer]
Norm: Bozo.

Sam: Carla, strictly hypothetically, would you marry me?
Carla: Sammy, that's a stupid question.
Sam: Well, I know it is.
Carla: Not in a million years!
Sam: What?
Carla: Oh, Sammy. Nobody loves you as much as I do. But I know you! You know, we'd be taking our wedding vows, and you'd be checking out the bridesmaids. You're a hound. I can't marry a hound.
Sam: Hey, I thought we had something special going on between us.
Carla: Definitely, we do. I just always thought that I'd be the woman you cheated on your wife with. Call me a hopeless romantic.

Sam: Honey, that smells of desperation. You don't- You don't need that. You deserve the greatest guy in the world. Oh, God. Oh, God. I don't believe I'm about to say this. Sit down, sit down. Listen, I've been doing a doing a lot of thinking recently about marriage and settling down and stuff.
Rebecca: Yeah?
Sam: [chuckles] I can't believe this. My hands are sweating.
Rebecca: Come on, Sam, go on with what you were saying.
Sam: Oh I... I just think that you and I...
Rebecca: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You're not saying what I think you're saying, are you?
Sam: You know, I think there's a chance for you and me if...
Rebecca: If... If what?
Sam: All right, all right, here goes... If, in the next couple of years, the right woman doesn't come along, you're on the top of a very short list. [off Rebecca's look] I know, I can't believe I'm saying this, either!
Rebecca: God, this is incredible. This... Y- You are saying that you will marry me if someone better doesn't come along?
Sam: Is it mind-blowing or what?