TV Quotes

Frasier: You know, sitting here in my dinner jacket, I feel I should be tossing off brittle Noel Coward bon mots.
Lilith: Do you know any brittle Noel Coward bon mots?
Frasier: As a matter of fact, I do. It seems that after being told that a very boring acquaintance of his had put a bullet through his brain, Coward said, "He must have been a remarkable shot!" [laughs]
Lilith: Did he often find humor in the tragedy of others?
Frasier: Well, darling, you're missing the humor, dear.
Lilith: He got his jollies from massive head trauma?
Frasier: Don't- You're missing the whimsy.
Lilith: Oh, for God's sake, Frasier! Can you imagine the state of mind that would drive a man to do something like that? Can you picture the despair he must have felt facing a future in which any hope or joy seemed utterly impossible?
Frasier: I think I can picture that, dear.

Frasier: You know, kids, astrology is bad enough, but she's also a Cassandra into the bargain, always prophesying doom. You know, when Lilith and I got married, she predicted that our marriage would descend into a life of endless bickering.
Lilith: That's not exactly what she said, Frasier.
Frasier: Yes it is, word for word.
Lilith: No, you're misremembering, as usual.
Frasier: It's my story. Why can't you keep your oar out?
Lilith: Because inaccuracy is a mark of sloppy thinking.
Frasier: And what is butting in a mark of?!

Norm: You're gonna have to give up an awful lot of stuff. For example, no more limousines.
Kelly: Oh, that's okay. I can take taxis.
Norm: No, Kelly, I don't think Woody can even afford taxis. You'll have to take the subway.
Kelly: The what?
Norm: The "T". You know, the subway.
Kelly: Come again?
Norm: The subway, the the little trains that run underground, carry people back and forth.
Kelly: Right, an underground train. You're such a joker, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: Kelly, they exist, and, and most people take them to work every day.
Kelly: Sure they do, Mr. Peterson. All right, I'll take your little underground train tomorrow morning. Underground trains! Woo-woo!

Kelly: Henri, you're gonna love this. Woody thinks you really are trying to steal me away from him.
Henri: Oh! [laughs] Oh, that's so funny. I am, you know. Right out from under your nose. [laughs]
Kelly: See how he is, Woody? He really cracks me up.
Woody: [laughs] Yeah, that's a good one. Now, I got one for you, Henri. Get your hands off my girlfriend.
Kelly: Henri, if you'll excuse us a moment. Woody, I think you were a little rude to Henri just now.
Woody: Yeah, well, I think Henri was a little rude, too.
Kelly: He's supposed to be rude; he's French.