Esther Clavin: Oh, all right. Clifford, we'd be delighted to have you join us for Police Academy tonight.
Cliff: Oh, no, that's okay, Ma. I'm just gonna have a lot of fun right here. I'm as happy as a lark.
Woody: Well, actually, Mr. Clavin, the lark is a very depressed bird. It has one of the highest suicide rates in the entire ornithological kingdom. Interestingly enough, its song is...
Both: more of a dirge.
Cliff: You've been teaching him bird trivia, haven't you, Ma?
Esther Clavin: Woody is the best student I've had, bar none.

Rebecca: No, you see Sam, no, no, you made me the manager. You gave me the authority to handle these problems. So let me just do it my own way.
Sam: Okay, Manager, what are you gonna do?
Rebecca: Well, I think we'll just make an entrance through the alley.
Sam: Oh, you've got to be kidding. What are you gonna do, bust a hole in my wall?
Norm: Well, actually, Sam, you know that window, the leaded stained glass window is in a single wooden frame, so I think you could pop it out fairly easily with a crowbar. I think the opening's like four by eight, which is perfectly good for a standard entrance. You build a little staircase and you've got yourself a nice little doorway.
Sam: Well, you've put a lot of thought into this.
Norm: It's always been a dream of mine to someday retire and build a little apartment back there.

Cliff: Well, that was Ma. Her flight got in a little bit early, and, uh, she'll be by as soon as she grabs a cab.
Norm: Your mom's in town?
Cliff: Yeah.
Norm: Why don't you go pick her up?
Cliff: Oh, Normie, that would set exactly the wrong tone for this visit. You know why she's here. She wants to move back in with me. Well, she can just forget it, I tell you. She's not gonna be running my life like she did when I was in my mid-30s, no, sirree, sir. No, no. I'm a new Cliff Clavin, new man. Oh, hey, yeah, I'd be happy to see her. I'd take her out to dinner, give her a perm, but that's about it.
Woody: I don't get it, Mr. Clavin. I thought you liked your mom a lot.
Norm: A whole lot.
Frasier: Too much to be healthy, really.