Norm: Well, what's the problem there, Wood?
Woody: Well, my theater group's auditioning for our spring production. They want us each to get up and perform.
Norm: Hmm.
Woody: Got any suggestions?
Frasier: Why don't you do a dramatic monologue?
Robin: I hear Shakespeare's quite good.
Frasier: Or perhaps a classic like Rostand's "Cyrano de Bergerac."
Robin: Well, how about"Richard ll?" "This royal throne of kings, this scepter'd isle, this earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, this other Eden... Demi-paradise..." And so forth, you know. [applause]
Norm: All right!
Robin: Yes, I essayed the role at university.
Frasier: Well, I played Cyrano in college. Yeah. "My soul, be satisfied with flowers, with fruit, with weeds even, but gather them in the one garden you may call your own." [applause]
Robin: [stands up] "This precious stone set in the silver sea, which serves it in the office of a wall or as a moat defensive to a house, against the envy of less happier lands, this blessed plot, this earth, this realm... This England." [all cheering]
Frasier: [stands up] "I am too proud to be a parasite. And in my nature wants the germ that grows towering to heaven like the mountain pine, or like the oak, sheltering multitudes. I stand, not high it may be, but alone." [cheers and applause]
Woody: Hey, uh, thank you Mr. Colcord, Dr. Crane. But I think I'm just going to go with what I had planned.
Norm: What's that, Wood?
Woody: This.
[Woody bends down, sticks his head between his knees, wraps his arms around his back and walks out]