Rebecca: Oh, isn't Eddie sweet? Oh, why can't more men send flowers?
Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.
Rebecca: I said more men, not Mormons.
Sam: I know they can't dance.
Norm: No, Sammy, that's the, that's the Amish.
Sam: W-Why can't Mormons send flowers?
Rebecca: They can.
Sam: Then what are you talking about?
Rebecca: I just wish someone would send me some damn roses.
Sam: Why does it have to be a Mormon?
Rebecca: Oh, come on! [storms off]
Sam: With some people, you just can't discuss religion.

Woody: Wait, there's something written on this five.
Cliff: Oh, that'd be mine. Here, let me give you a clean one. I'll take that back.
Woody: I don't mind.
Cliff: No, it's all right. You'll get ink all over your fingers, and Let's see what it says.
Woody: Uh, "Happy 30th birthday, Cliffie-bits. Sorry I didn't have time to shop. Love, Ma."
Sam: You've been carrying around a gift from your mother for ten years?
Norm: No, no, Sammy. The post office just delivered it yesterday.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very funny. You're just jealous 'cause I got a ma who sends me five bucks on my birthday and you don't.
Norm: What are you talking about? Your ma sends me money all the time, Cliff. I got one right here, actually. "Dearest Norm, thanks for hanging out with my dorky son. You're a saint. Love Ma Clavin." Oh. "P.S. I'm writing this in the nude."
Cliff: My ma didn't write that! My ma's never been nude in her life!

Norm: Yeah, anniversaries can be just great. I'll never forget my first anniversary with Vera. Yeah, we, uh... Oh, my God, I did forget it. Anybody know where I can get a 17-year-old box of candy?