Woody Quote #375
Quote from Woody in I Kid You Not
Cliff: Wait, wait, Woody. You're going out with the boss's daughter and you're riding around on a bus?
Woody: Yeah, it's getting to be a real drag, too. Especially when you can't sit together. Maybe I can borrow Sam's car.
Cliff: Whoa, whoa, hey. Hold up there, Woodster. Lest you forget the Ten Commandments of Sam Malone. Hence, commandment number three: "Thou shall not loan thy car."
Norm: I thought that was commandment number four.
Cliff: That's "Honor thy hair."
Woody: I think Sam might make an exception in my case. Hey, Sam? Sam? Can I borrow your car?
Sam: My car? [laughs]
Woody: Yeah, I'll be real careful with it. [Sam laughs] No, I'll bring it home early and I'll wash it the next day. [Sam cackles] Well, food for thought.
Norm: So, Wood, is he gonna loan you the car?
Woody: He didn't come right out and say it, but I like my chances. He's in a great mood today. [Sam laughs hysterically]
Cheers Quotes
‘I Kid You Not’ Quotes
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Carla's got herself a real Poindexter there, huh? Yeah. It's sad to say that kids not accepted by their peers really never learn how to get along with people in the big grown-up world.
Norm: Why is that, Cliff? 'Cause they keep boring everyone and driving them crazy with long speeches filled with meaningless statistics?
Cliff: Yep, yeah. 63% of them live lives of quiet desperation.
Norm: And how about those who sit next to them?
Quote from Carla
Norm: Carla, look, I know you love your kids and everything... I mean, like your kids. I mean, I know you have kids... But I have never seen you this concerned before.
Carla: Well, Lud's special.
Norm: Yeah?
Carla: Yeah. I mean, whenever I come home at night, he always brings me a pan of hot water for my feet. He actually asks me how my day went. I don't know if I ever told anybody this before... I love him.
Norm: You don't have to be shy about saying that you love your kids.
Carla: Oh, why don't you just take out an ad in the Yellow Pages?
Quote from Carla
Lilith: So, Carla, tell, tell. Have you bedded any other Rhodes scholars?
Carla: Uh... no. But one egghead, long-distance, phone-in father is enough for this baby factory.
Frasier: In spite of the fact that Dr. Ludlow's work takes him out of the country, I'm sure he's a marvelous parent.
Carla: No, a good parent is someone who's there. Who's there to help them out with their homework. There when they wake up in the middle of the night crying their eyes out. He's there with the bottle of Bactine when they give themselves a bad tattoo. Well, I've been there. I raised eight kids on a waitress's salary, and I want you to know they're all good kids, and not one of them has had a conviction that stood up on appeal.