Sam Quote #1075

Quote from Sam in One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape

Rebecca: Look, the important thing is that we are as one forevermore. Honeys till the end of time.
Martin Teal: Well, Sam, I guess you wouldn't be interested in spending the next month tending bar at a seaside resort we reopened in Cancun?
Sam: I'm there. Whoa, hey.
Rebecca: Sam!
Sam: Oh, right. Yeah. Um, that wouldn't be fair to Rebecca here. Who could we get to replace me?
Martin Teal: Oh, no problem. I'll make an exchange with the bartender down there.
Sam: Well, then, I'm out of here. Hey, I'll see you in a month. Adios, amigos! [runs out]
Rebecca: Sam? Sam! Sam! Martin, is this your little way of breaking Sam and me up?
Martin Teal: It's a bona fide offer. I need an experienced man down there.
Rebecca: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that, when Sam gets down there, and he's all alone, he's going to start roving. Well, I can tell you this. You can send Sam away for a month or a year, and he will only think of me.
Sam: [returns] Excuse me. Do they have drug stores down there, or should I pack an extra bag?

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 ‘One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape’ Quotes

Quote from Cliff

Carla: I don't know what that Latin lover said, but I sure dig the way he said it.
Cliff: Well, if you ask me, Ramon's a lot more Latin than lover. Yeah, you know, study after study show that the old sons of Spain just don't have our sexual prowess.
Norm: Cliffie, nobody has your sexual prowess.
Cliff: Thanks, Norm. You know, it seems that the tropical sun dries out a man's vital juices. You ever seen a raisin?
Norm: Have you ever seen a doctor?

Quote from Norm

Norm: All right, I hate to change the subject, but I don't know if anyone else recognizes we seem to have a little problem here.
Woody: Oh, you need another beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Okay, we have two problems.

 Sam Malone Quotes

Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday

Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.

Quote from The Proposal

Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Diane: No.
Sam: No?
Diane: No.
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.