Norm: Whoa, Cliffie, new Weekly Gabber I see, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, you betcha. Look at this headline here. "Suicidal Twin Kills Brother by Mistake."
Frasier: Oh, Cliff, you don't actually believe that pack of lies, do you?
Cliff: Well, Dr. Crane, it just shows you how much you know about free press here in America. I mean, uh, they can't print it unless it's the truth. Well, granted, you know, some of these stories might be a bit exaggerated, but, uh, I guarantee you at the core of each is the kernel of truth. Allow me to demonstrate. Hey, hey. Come here, fella. Listen, I just won five bucks in the lottery. Pass it on, will ya? Thanks a lot. The truth has begun its journey now around the bar. When it returns, it may be a little bit distorted, you know. People will be saying I won $500, maybe $5,000, maybe five million dollars, but I guarantee you the essence of the message will be the truth.
Pete: Hey, Norm, get this. Some geek brain's all jazzed because he just won five bucks.
Frasier: Touche.

Frasier: Well, you know, Carla, I've done a lot of reading lately about fear of flying. I've always wanted to conduct a workshop for people with your problem. I'm sure I could scare up a few people like you. Oh, no pun intended. None noticed, I am sure.
Carla: No way, Frasier. I am not going to wind up in your office, strapped to some table with electricity shot through my head.
Frasier: Carla, that's not part of the therapy.
Carla: Oh, yeah? What about Diane?
Frasier: Now, look. I never treated Diane with any kind of shock inducement. Of course, now I wish I had.

Norm: He gave Cheers a really bad review a couple years ago. Really bad. I almost stopped coming here.
Rebecca: What did he say?
Cliff: Well, a bar full of bores.
Norm: Yeah, oafish clientele.
Sam: Dumb lug of a bartender.
Rebecca: Well, we're under new management here. A lot of things have changed.
Sam: Like what?
Rebecca: We have ferns. Didn't he say anything nice?
Sam: Yes, as a matter of fact, he said the one saving grace was the refreshing lack of ferns.
Rebecca: You guys are just trying to rattle me. With the changes I've instituted and with Carla locked in the storage closet, everything's going to be fine. 86 the ferns, Woody.