Sam Quote #870
Quote from Sam in I on Sports
Rebecca: Let's see. As news rappers go, I thought you were fine. But maybe rapping has just been kind of done to death.
Sam: Oh, no, you think so? I mean, I'd hate to think I looked stupid out there.
Rebecca: No, no, not at all.
Norm: No, no, no, it's just that it's not unique anymore, Sam. I mean, uh, you know, it'd be one thing if you were the first guy to rap, but they're rapping on stations all over town. You don't want to be the last on a long train of rappers.
Cliff: Yeah, Norm is right there, Sammy. I mean, you got to do something different. Do something revolutionary, something that no sportscaster does anymore. You know, like, uh read the sports.
Sam: You know, I have been working on something, but I was afraid it was too much. But if you guys think that rapping's old hat you know, I just may give it a shot. I'm going to work on it right now, as a matter of fact. [exits]
Norm: Suppose we ought to stop him?
Cliff: Oh, no, wait a minute. How do we know it's going to be another bad idea? I mean, it couldn't be as bad as tonight, could it?
[later:]
Sam: [on TV with a puppet] [high-pitched voice] Hi, everybody. [normal voice] Hi, Little Sam. Are you ready for tonight's...
Carla: Oh, my God.
Cheers Quotes
‘I on Sports’ Quotes
Quote from Sam
[on TV:]
Sam: Tonight I'm going to tackle the issue that's tearing professional sports apart: natural grass or artificial turf? Now this reporter's not afraid to say that he's firmly in favor of natural grass. It's softer, causes fewer injuries, and let's face it, folks: it looks prettier on TV. That's just one guy's opinion. Joanne?
Joanne: Gee, Sam, I heard somewhere that in an indoor stadium it's impossible to grow real grass.
Sam: Well, yes, yes, uh... In indoor stadiums, you have to use the fake stuff.
Dr. Buzz: And I've heard that some of the more recent synthetic blends actually do help reduce injuries.
Sam: Oh. Well, I hadn't heard that, Doc. That's pretty amazing.
Joanne: So what are you saying here, Sam?
Sam: Well, I guess I'm saying that I could go either way on it.
Joanne: So you have no opinion on this?
Sam: No, I have two opinions. And that's one guy's opinions.
Quote from Sam
Sam: [on TV] The Graf-Everett final may be a good match-up, but if you ask this I on Sports, the fact that Martina Navratilova decided to sit this one out
Norm: Ooh, to say "Martina Navra- whoever" without even-
Sam: [on TV] You know, I got a phone call today from a teenager saying I was taking advantage of my status as an ex-ballplayer and that old squares like me shouldn't be doing the sports. Well, Corky, tonight's commentary is directed right at you. [hip-hop music plays] [Sam raps:] Time to rap about a controversy Gonna take a stand, won't show no mercy A lot of folks say jocks shouldn't be Doing the sports news on TV I don't want to hear the latest scores From a bunch of old broadcasting school bores So get your scores from a guy like me Who knows what it's like to have a groin injury G-G-Groin, g-g-groin G-G-Groin injury. [music stops] Joanne.
Joanne: [on TV] Dr. Buzz, there must be some weather.
Quote from Rebecca
Dave Richards: Excuse me. The alarm just went off. [to Rebecca] I make an ungodly amount of money and I know exactly how to use it.
Rebecca: You must be a friend of Mr. Malone's.
Dave Richards: Well, you know what they say, "The good-looking ones travel in pairs." And, uh, that's certainly true in your case.
Rebecca: Do you have the time?
Dave Richards: 4:30.
Rebecca: Good, 'cause I just wanted to remember the exact moment I met the biggest jerk on Earth.
Dave Richards: [Sam laughs] Tough woman, tough woman.
Sam: You got that right. I wear a cup to work.