Woody Quote #62
Woody: Miss Chambers, can I tell you something?
Diane: Sure, Woody.
Woody: You look like a hundred bucks.
Diane: Thank you, Woody.
Woody: Oh, what am I saying? Two hundred.
Diane: Woody, you're turning my head.
Woody: Okay, a hundred.
Quote from Woody
Cliff: But I understand the postmaster general is gonna make the toast.
Woody: Wow, a man of his position helping out in the kitchen. Only in America.
Quote from Sam
Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Yes, ma'am, right away. [to Carla] There's some lady screaming her head off.
Carla: What does she want?
Woody: I don't know. All I could make out was "two-timing."
Carla: Sam, telephone. Woody, listen up and learn something.
Sam: [takes the phone] Sammy here. Oh, hey, I thought you'd like those flowers. Yeah. No, no, that sounds like my note. "Thanks for a wonderful evening, Barbara. I had a great time." Well, of course I know your name's Karen. You know, hey, I see your mistake here. You see, you didn't realize that, to me, Barbara means Karen. Well, because... Because... Because "Barbara" reminds me of Barbra Streisand, and you know that song about people? Well, I am getting to it. You know the line, "First be a person who needs people"? Well, who was the first person? Yeah, all right, but the first female person was Eve. And who's the most famous Eve of all, but Christmas Eve, right? Yeah, well, what do you do on Christmas Eve, but you go caroling. Right? No, I know, your name's not Carolyn. But after you go caroling, what you do is, you Karen the gifts. Karen. Yeah. Well, apology accepted, sweetheart. I'll talk to you later.
Quote from Sam
Sam: Come on. Obviously, it means a lot to him. All he wants to do is be seen with a classy-looking chick.
Diane: Oh, I don't know, Sam. Look at all the people who've fallen hopelessly in love with me, with only the slightest encouragement. You, Frasier...
Quote from The Last Picture Show
Cliff: So, uh, what'd I miss? Why- Why is that girl, uh, running around screaming at everybody?
Norm: Well, she's trying to convince them that, uh, that Godzilla's merely confused and not really trying to hurt them.
Cliff: Isn't that the part usually played by Akiro Nakamoto?
Norm: Yeah, yeah. But, uh, she left halfway through the Godzilla series.
Woody: I don't understand. Why would an actress leave right in the middle of a successful series?
Quote from Bar Wars VI: This Time It's for Real
Sam: Come on. It's a golden opportunity. We can win this time. We can steal all of Gary's best ideas and use 'em against this new guy. And you remember how Gary's always going first? We can learn from that. We can move first ourselves.
Frasier: Very good, Sam. As that famous prankster Santayana once said, "Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it."
Woody: You got that right, Doctor Crane. Back in high school I was condemned to repeat History three times. By the way, the same goes for Mathematics.