Norm: Sammy, when's the Coach gonna get back from visiting his sister?
Sam: Uh, he'll be in Minnesota at least another week.
Cliff: Is his sister anything, you know, like the Coach?
Sam: Let me put it this way. He asked her to pick him up at the airport. She thought he meant the Boston airport so she drove all the way here to pick him up. Fortunately, that's what he meant. They had lunch at the airport. Then they drove on to St. Paul.
Cliff: Wait. Uh, I thought she lived in Duluth, there.
Sam: She does, but they don't like the food at the airport in Duluth. You know, actually, Coach will probably be back before I could explain this to you.

Diane: Oh, Nick Tortelli, this is someone with whom you have absolutely nothing in common, my paramour, Dr. Frasier Crane.
Nick Tortelli: Uh, doctor of what? Can you get any pills?
Frasier: I'm a psychiatrist. Uh, have we met? You wouldn't by any chance be the bogus missing link exhibited at the Amsterdam World's Fair?
Nick Tortelli: No, but you're not the first person who asked me. I wish I had done something like that. Maybe my life would be worth something.

Nick Tortelli: Well, she ran out on me. You see, she always wanted to be a singer. She got an offer from this big musical group that's touring the country. The Grinning Americans.
Frasier: The grinning what?
Cliff: Well, they're a group of wholesome young people, who wear, you know, pullover sweaters, sing patriotic songs. You know, they've had me and Ma marching around the living room on more than one Sunday afternoon, I can tell you.
Frasier: Cliff. You live with your mother, Cliff?
Cliff: I have my own room. I have my own hot plate. You want to read something sicko into that?