Cliff Quote #166
Quote from Cliff in The Mail Goes to Jail
Sam: Officer, I'm the owner of the bar here. Sam Malone. Is there a problem?
Police Officer: No, no. Some guy tried to implicate this letter carrier here in a mail theft on his route.
Cliff: Can you believe that?
Sam: You're kidding me. Mail theft? That's ridiculous. I've known Cliff for years. He wouldn't be involved in something like that.
Cliff: You're a fine bartender, Sammy. [to the officer] You, sir, are one of Boston's finest.
Police Officer: Well, thanks. We just had to check out the story.
Cliff: And check it out you did. By the way, the federal government appreciates the cooperation of you local boys. Let's just hope our penal system can rehabilitate the wretch.
Cheers Quotes
‘The Mail Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Cliff: All right, look, I'll call and see what the penalty is, but it's got to be anonymous.
Coach: OK, everybody in favor of Cliff calling, raise your hand. [all hands go up] It's anonymous. Not even an extension.
Quote from Diane
Diane: Bambi?
Sam: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Diane: Well, I suppose it's better than Dumbo or Goofy. Not as appropriate, but...
Sam: Coach, can I have my flashlight, please?
Diane: You know, Sam I can't help but noticing that Bambi wasn't the same little deer that you left here with on Friday.
Sam: No, I got rid of Cindy. We weren't compatible.
Diane: Really? What was the problem there?
Sam: Dumb as a post.
Diane: Oh, with so much in common, I can't imagine why you two went awry.
Sam: No, I'm serious. I mean, she just wasn't my intellectual equal.
Diane: You should have said you're looking for an intellectual equal. I could introduce you to something that's growing on my shower curtain.
Quote from Cliff
Norm: How many letters you got left?
Cliff: I don't know. Seven or eight. [eats soup] Boy, this tastes good.
Norm: Hey, these are all on my way home. Let me drop these off for you, Cliffie. I've got to go home anyway.
Cliff: No, Norm, you're not trained. You're not qualified.
Norm: What qualified? You drop them in a slot. A chimp could do it.
Cliff: A chimp? No way. They did a study at the University of Michigan. Chimps were 32% slower. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were better with customer relations and everything, but...