Coach Quote #291
Coach: OK, folks. Just to help you pass time away while you're waiting for your table upstairs, I'm going to show you a little trick that never fails to leave people with their mouths wide open. I'm going to guess your age by asking you three simple questions. OK?
Man: Sounds like fun.
Coach: Good. OK, first question. What year were you born?
Man: You gotta be kidding.
Coach: Please, bare with me, will you?
Man: 1949.
Coach: 1949. OK, second question. Uh, How much do you weigh?
Man: About 185 pounds.
Coach: 185 pounds. OK, third and last question. What do you do for a living?
Man: I'm a carpet salesman.
Coach: Carpet salesman. OK, I should have an answer for you right after dinner.
Man: After dinner?
Coach: Yeah, I didn't realize I had to carry a number.
Cheers Quotes
‘Whodunit?’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Coach: Boy, am I exhausted.
Norm: Not much sleep, huh?
Coach: No, Normie, I slept like a baby. It's just that I dreamed I had insomnia all night.
Cliff: You know, someday that man's head is gonna open up and a prize will pop out.
Quote from Diane
Sam: Hey, Diane. Psst. You know, I've been thinking...
Diane: Have you? The odds makers take a beating again.
Quote from Carla
Diane: Well, I think it's only fair that you tell him you have five children.
Carla: Six.
Diane: OK, six. But don't wait... I thought it was five.
Carla: It was. I just came from the doctor.
Diane: Oh! Oh! Carla, when you were in high school and you took Hygiene... did you cut the how-not-to lecture?
Carla: I had to. I was pregnant. I'm the most fertile woman living. For me, there's only one absolutely foolproof method of birth control, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
Diane: What's that?
Carla: Saying no.