Carla Quote #263
Quote from Carla in An American Family
Diane: Carla, if you felt this way, why on earth did you give that child away?
Carla: Because I could never say no to that man. You know, I never even wanted to go out with him in the first place. He won me over. I didn't wanna go to bed with him. He won me over. I didn't wanna marry him. I didn't wanna have five kids. Our whole history is me saying no and him winning me over. Like the other day in there? He held my hand. And he got real close to me, and then he batted those eyelashes at me. And he said, "Carla, you know why I want that kid? Cos he is a part of you. He's the only part of you I have."
Diane: Nick said that?
Carla: Let's not even discuss it. It's over, the kid is his. He's coming by today to have me sign the papers.
Sam: Dammit, Carla. If you don't wanna sign, don't sign. I mean, stand up to the guy.
Carla: Well, of course I'm going resist. But if I happen to alone with him for a second, I'll melt.
Diane: Then there's one simple solution, we shan't let you alone with him. Right, everyone?
All: We shan't!
Cheers Quotes
‘An American Family’ Quotes
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Yeah, Sammy, I don't think you ever hit over 150.
Norm: Wait, I got 20 bucks says he did, big guy.
Cliff: Whoa, you're on, sucker.
Norm: All right, kiss that Andrew Jackson goodbye.
Diane: It's beyond me why the two of you insist on making a contest out of the most meaningless issues.
Cliff: No, no, no. On the contrary there, Diane. We also address ourselves to some of the most vital and meaningful issues of our times. For instance, if south-east Asia were to be obliterated by a nuclear attack, Norm here would have to push a peanut up Boylston Street with his nose.
Norm: But only as far as the corner. Come on, peace.
Quote from Norm
Cliff: Normie, Normie, Normie. I hate to be the one to tell you this. But Sam's batting average never went past 149. Here it is. Right in the stat book.
Norm: 149.
Cliff: That's right. And I don't wanna be the kind of guy who rubs it in, so just let me say... [chuckles] [Coach laughs]
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah? Well, I have a little bad news for you, Cliffie. It so happens that I made a side bet with the Coach that if you won you'd be obnoxious, so I come out even. [Coach laughs]
Sam: Hey, troops, I'm back! What? What's so funny?
Coach: Normie just lost a bundle to Cliffie on a bet.
Norm: But the Coach just lost a bundle to me.
Cliff: But the funniest thing is, Sam, it's based on the fact that you couldn't hit a baseball to save your life!
Coach: Know what's even funnier than that, Sam?
Sam: What?
Coach: Cliffie spends 30 bucks on a book to win a 20 dollar bet.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah? Well, you lent me the money, Norm. You know I'm never going to pay you back.
Diane: You know, the way you positively revel in each other's defeats is totally reprehensible. Are you ever as pleased with each other's good fortune?
Norm: Who's had any?
Quote from Carla
Carla: Nick! What the hell do you want?
Nick Tortelli: Hey! Is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.
Nick Tortelli: I gotta talk to you. I would have come by the house, but I didn't want Loretta to see my humble beginnings. I need a simple favor.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.