Nick Tortelli Quote #10

Quote from Nick Tortelli in An American Family

Nick Tortelli: Carla, I didn't think you'd be so cold-hearted, but as you are, I have no choice but to do what I'm trying to avoid at all costs.
Carla: What, breathe through your nose?
Nick Tortelli: No. I'm taking you to court.
Carla: Hey, you can't do that.
Nick Tortelli: Oh, no? I happen to have an attorney, Carla, and he assures me that I got a very good case. In fact, he thinks I can get all five kids and you as a maid. I'm letting you off easy.


 ‘An American Family’ Quotes

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Yeah, Sammy, I don't think you ever hit over 150.
Norm: Wait, I got 20 bucks says he did, big guy.
Cliff: Whoa, you're on, sucker.
Norm: All right, kiss that Andrew Jackson goodbye.
Diane: It's beyond me why the two of you insist on making a contest out of the most meaningless issues.
Cliff: No, no, no. On the contrary there, Diane. We also address ourselves to some of the most vital and meaningful issues of our times. For instance, if south-east Asia were to be obliterated by a nuclear attack, Norm here would have to push a peanut up Boylston Street with his nose.
Norm: But only as far as the corner. Come on, peace.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Nick! What the hell do you want?
Nick Tortelli: Hey! Is that the kind of hello I deserve?
Carla: No, bend over and I'll give it to you.
Nick Tortelli: I gotta talk to you. I would have come by the house, but I didn't want Loretta to see my humble beginnings. I need a simple favor.
Carla: Unless it's setting your eyebrows on fire, forget it.

 Nick Tortelli Quotes

Quote from Loathe and Marriage

Nick Tortelli: Don't worry about it, Sam. I'll handle it. Carla, at times, can be very obdurate. She also can be very recalcitrant, intransigent and immovable.
Loretta: Nicky got one of those word-a-day calendars. We played word games all the way from Las Vegas. I'm insipid.

Quote from Loathe and Marriage

Nick Tortelli: Carla, look at our kid out there. She's pregnant, married to a retired cop. We must have done something right.
Carla: Yeah. Maybe our other kids will turn out okay, too.
Nick Tortelli: That is my most fervent wish.
Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Oh, just a second. Mr. Tortelli, it's for you.
Nick Tortelli: For me? [takes the phone] Hello. What?! What?! When?! [yelling] All right, I'll be on it! Loretta, let's go!
Woody: What's the matter?
Nick Tortelli: One of the orang-utans went nuts and bit a kid. I've got to rush to Vegas before they put him to sleep.
Woody: The orang-utan or the kid?
Nick Tortelli: I didn't ask.