Diane Quote #336
Diane: Hester, I've been thinking a lot about our little talk last night.
Hester Crane: I hope you've been thinking long and hard.
Diane: I have. Frasier, I came to a decision last night. When and if we marry, I think we should commit mommy dearest here to a rest home, making sure that beating and starving are the only forms of recreation.
Hester Crane: I beg your pardon?
Diane: In fact, I feel like slapping your face right now.
Hester Crane: Take me out of here this moment.
Diane: Well, it's a joke, come on. I'm obviously kidding. We're not going to put the woman in a rest home, we'll have her with us always. We're going to have her stuffed. [As Diane laughs, Sam gives her a "cut it out", throat slash gesture] And I'll even slit her throat in the process. Thank you, Sam. [laughs]
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down.
Quote from Sam
Hester Crane: I understand you used to date that woman. I want to know how much you'd charge to start things up again.
Sam: You don't have enough money.
Hester Crane: How would you know?
Sam: There isn't enough money.
Hester Crane: I know what you mean.
Sam: No, I don't think you do.
Hester Crane: I think I do.
Sam: Oh, no.
Hester Crane: Oh, yes.
Sam: Oh, no.
Quote from No Help Wanted
Diane: Sam, now, it's true, hiring Norman has emotional overtones. But without emotions, the mind becomes a stagnant pond. And let's face it, in your case, we're not exactly dealing with white water rapids in the first place.
Quote from Sam's Women
Diane: Sam, do yourself a favor. Go back to your tootsies and your rat parts. I'd hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account.
Sam: Hey, hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you saying that I'm too dumb to date smart women?
Diane: I'm saying that it would be very difficult for you. A really intelligent woman would see your line of BS a mile away.
Sam: You think so?
Diane: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Sam: You know, well, I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date.
Diane: On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say... Phew.