Diane: So that was your act of heroism? Mayday's moment of truth? Getting shot in the fanny while in flight from a jealous husband.
Sam: Hey, now, wait! Who said I was running away?
Diane: How else do you explain the location of your wound?
Sam: Well, I could have been coming at him and turned a somersault to throw off his aim.
Diane: You know, you're very lucky that you didn't get any brain damage.

Carla: Hey, everybody! Great day, isn't it?
Coach: Carla, did you get your tooth fixed?
Carla: Yep, I am never going to be afraid to go to the dentist again. I've found a way to communicate with him.
Norm: How's that?
Carla: Well, as he leaned in with his drill I grabbed him where I knew I could get his attention and I said, "We're not going to hurt each other, are we?"
Norm: All right.
Diane: Carla? Did that work?
Carla: We're having a late dinner.

Sam: She was married. No, no, she told me just right now. Now that's something I don't do. I don't mess around with married women.
Norm: Me neither.