Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Coach: What's the story, Norm?
Norm: A thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.

Sam: Oh, I believe you had a question there.
Diane: Ah, well, I guess It isn't important now. It's just that I know this bottle cap has nothing to do with baseball and I was sort of hoping that you'd tell me what it's all about.
Sam: I know- I know you've been curious. I didn't wanna tell you the real situation cos you'll think I'm silly.
Diane: Well, would it ease your mind at all if I told you I already think you're silly?
Sam: Yeah. That might help a little bit. You see, that, uh, little bottle cap keeps me from drinking. Silly, huh?
Diane: You don't hear it speaking, do you?
Sam: Well, nothing beyond an occasional little small talk. It is a very little bottle cap.
Diane: All right. I'll bite. How does it keep you from drinking, just out of curiosity?
Sam: It's the cap off the last bottle of beer I ever drank, the last anything I ever drank. I remember holding onto that bottle cap during some pretty rough nights. I mean, I'd wake up in the morning and I'd have its imprint in my palm. It was flat cos I was squeezing it so hard. When I was tempted to have a drink, sometimes I'd look at the bottle cap and it would stop me.
Diane: That's a pretty great little bottle cap, huh?
Sam: You wanna know something really crazy? The last couple of nights, I've really had an urge to have a drink.

Coach: Listen, Rick. In my day, there was always attractive young dames outside the stadium waiting for players.
Rick Walker: They're still there, Coach.
Coach: Are you kiddin'? Say hello to Rosie McGonagal for me, will ya?
Rick Walker: Different ones are there, Coach.
Coach: Oh, yeah.