TV Quotes

Diane: Well, what I can't fathom is how one can drink cold beer in freezing weather.
Norm: Cliff? Explanation please.
Diane: Now, how do you know he has one?
Norm: Five bucks says he does, ten says it's a doozy.
Cliff: When the British ruled Punjab...
Norm: Ten bucks all the way.
Cliff: ...they drank steaming hot tea on the hottest days of the year to balance out their inside and outside temperatures. See, conversely, drinking an ice-cold drink on a cold day actually results in a more comfortable body temperature.
Diane: All right. Why do you drink ice-cold beer on a hot day?
Norm: Mr. Clavin?
Cliff: What else are you gonna do with it?

Cliff: So, how was your Sunday, Norm? You catch the Celtics-75ers game?
Norm: Oh, yes, and the Bruins-Flyers, the Ramos-Ramos fight. Yesterday, Australian rules football. Tomorrow, we got Boston College play Iona. Put that money down, pal.
Cliff: Eh, I'll be ready.
Diane: Doesn't your wife ever complain that you never spend any time with her?
Norm: Would you?

Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's all right, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet "22,000 big ones"? Which takes you down to zero. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Alex Trebek: Isn't going to work, Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 is not a big total, but today it's enough to make you the new Jeopardy! champion. So congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions! You saw me, America! Write in and tell them!
Norm: Come on, Wood, if we sneak out right now, nobody will know we're with him.
Cliff: Tony Curtis, if you're out there, if you can hear me, call in, and I'll split the pot with you. Ah, for crying out loud, look... Any mail carriers out there?

Frasier: I want you all to know... I'm not blaming her. It's because of me that my life is in the arms of another man.
Woody: Uh, well, you mean "wife," don't you, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: What?
Woody: You said "life." "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man."
Cliff: Oh, that's a- That's a Freudian slip there, Woody.
Woody: What's a Freudian slip?
Cliff: Oh, that's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.