Woody: Uh, Sam, you can go home now.
All: Surprise! [whooping and cheering] [laughter and applause]
Sam: Wow!
Woody: Sam, you should have seen the look on your face!

Woody: Hey, Carla, how was traffic school?
Carla: Eh, it was all right.
Norm: Yeah? Well, don't all those gory movies they show kind of turn your stomach a bit?
Carla: Hey, Norm, you're forgetting I've seen Diane without makeup.

Diane: Hello, everyone.
Sam: Hi.
Diane: Hello, you.
Sam: Let me help you with that.
Diane: Well, all right.
Sam: Boy, you look fantastic, dear. That is a great outfit on you.
Diane: Sam.
Sam: Hmm?
Diane: You make a lousy sycophant.
Sam: Yes, but I make a great margarita.

Diane: May I speak to you in your office, please?
Sam: Sure, anything you want. You bet cha. Oh, come on, smile.
Diane: For some reason, I don't feel like smiling.
Sam: Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you're mad?

Sam: Well, l- l- l don't know. I- I don't know what to say to make this right, except I'm sorry.
Diane: Would 24 hours of wild, uninhibited, hedonistic sexual carousing with anything in a tube top suffice?
Sam: In- In a-addition to saying I'm sorry?
Diane: Sam, you can apologize till the cows come home, but it won't alleviate the problem. After much consideration, I propose that you go on a flesh binge. Sow your wild oats. Get it out of your system. Savor your last kernel of popcorn.
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: Absolutely. It's the only way we can establish a clean slate. No guilt, no remorse, no regrets. So dive into that little black book of yours and enjoy.
Sam: Oh, you know, I threw that dumb thing away when we got engaged.
Diane: I'm sure you have one or two numbers etched in your memory.
Sam: You listen to me. I'm only going to agree to do this because I love you, Diane.
Diane: Well, don't do it for me, Sam. Do it for the health of our future marriage.

Sam: Uh, excuse me, uh... When do my, uh, 24 hours begin?
Diane: Right now.
Sam: All right.
Diane: The same as mine.
Sam: Okay. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa! Yours?
Diane: Of course, Sam. This is the only way we can be sure that I have all other men out of my system.

Cliff: Ho, the man! All right!
Norm: Hey, what's the score, Sammy?
Frasier: Oh, Norm, you know he's not the kind of guy to kiss and tell. Not that he wastes much time kissing, anyway, eh, compadre?
Sam: Yeah, you guys know me, all right.

Carla: I mean, for God's sakes, Sammy, who'd be stupid enough to touch Diane? Besides you.
Sam: Good point. You know, uh, yeah, what am I worried about here?
Diane: [enters] Oh, Rick, you really came through.
[Sam jumps over the bar and goes tog rab Rick]
Diane: Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam! Rick was kind enough to drive me to work when my car broke down.
Sam: I knew that. l, uh I just wanted to give him a thank-you shake. Thank you, thank you.
Rick: Uh, maybe I'll, uh, take a rain check on that drink. Uh, good luck with your marriage.