Alan: Quiet! Here he comes. Just act like you don't know anything.
Diane: Yeah, something tells me you boys can handle that.

Norm: She's an animal. Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Norm: I'm spent. Give me a beer, Coach.
Cliff: She couldn't get enough of you, huh, Norm?
Norm: Cliffie, I had to climb out the fire escape.
Alan: You got to give us all the details, Norm. And I mean details.
Norm: I don't know. Is everybody over 21 here?
Diane: Norman, don't do this.
Carla: Shut up and let the man talk.

Norm: Well, I think this just about says it all.
Cliff: Whoa, Norm, major hickey!
Norm: That's the only one I can show you in mixed company.
Coach: Norm, I hate to see you make a fool of yourself, but Emily called.
Norm: She wants more? That woman is insatiable!
Coach: She wanted to know where you were. She said you didn't show up.
Carla: And everybody here knows it.
Norm: Of course. Do you expect her to brag about it? I mean, only a crass lowlife would do that.
Sam: Let's you and me go and talk in the pool room.
Norm: Sure. Big guy wants some pointers now! Sure, Sammy, I'll fill you in.

Diane: I'm terribly sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing what you just said.
Sam: How much?
Diane: Well, everything. See, I discovered accidentally, if you go into the first stall in the women's room, wet your ear and jam it up against the wall, you hear the occasional word. Just be glad I did. Listen to me. Now, Norman, I have something to say to you because I can help you. And I want to say it to your face. You are a ladies' man.
Norm: I am?
Diane: Yes. You're a one-woman man and every woman loves and respects that. I don't think you should live your life in deference to what some beer-swilling swine think.
Norm: Gee, I always have.
Diane: Norman, they're unhappy with their marriages or lack thereof. And they're waiting out there for you to throw yours away and lower yourself to their level. Ugh, I hate them. God, I hate them.

Diane: Norman, stand up to them.
Norm: [o.s.] I'm not going to throw away 1 1 years of marriage. I'm looking for someone to haul it away! Now, let me tell you a little something about my honeymoon suite, or, as I call it, the Dead Zone. Want to see an impression of my wife, Vera Peterson, at the dentist's office? [runs in] Where's my jacket? This is gonna be great. [to Sam & Diane] Oh, shut up. [o.s.] Doctor, would you please clean my fangs?
Diane: Do you believe this?
Sam: Just a second. I don't want to miss this.

Sam: Norm. Hey, you don't have to go through with this if you don't want.
Norm: I know. Just one question, Sam, have there been any innovations in the women's undergarment industry since 1965?