Norm Peterson Quotes Page 1 of 74    

Quote from Tan 'n' Wash

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

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Quote from Sam at Eleven

Norm: [enters] Afternoon.
Sam: Hey, Norm!
Coach: Norm!
Norm: Gimme a beer, will you?
Coach: How's life treating you, Norm?
Norm: Like I just ran over its dog.

Quote from Behind Every Great Woman

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What would you like, Norm?
Norm: A reason to live. Keep them coming.

Quote from The Proposal

Norm: [enters] Good afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. What's the story?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer.

Quote from Paint Your Office

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Man: Hey.
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. Beer, Woody.

Quote from The Executive's Executioner

Norm: [enters] Evening, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Ooh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mr. Lucky, huh?

Quote from Fortune and Men's Weight

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Coach: How does a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I don't know, Coach. I usually finish 'em before they get a word in.

Quote from Fortune and Men's Weight

Norm: It says, "Your most troublesome problem will soon be solved."
Cliff: Hey, Norm sounds like you're going to get a trim on the old antlers tonight, huh?
Coach: Norm, what's your most troublesome problem?
Norm: You know, that's tough to say, Coach. Let's see. I'm overweight, unemployed, separated, depressed, starting to drink too much. I guess my biggest problem is I've never been happier.

Quote from Diane Meets Mom

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down.

Quote from The Groom Wore Clearasil

Norm: Hey, Woody, give me a refill, would you?
Woody: Coming up. You know, Mr. Peterson, you're amazing. How do you keep putting them away?
Norm: Well, it's all done with mirrors, son. I just never look in one.

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