Norm: So, uh, Wood, that's a nice ring. Have her parents seen it yet?
Woody: No. They will in a couple days. They're gonna throw us an engagement party.
Norm: A party! Oh, cool!
Woody: Her grandmother's even coming all the way from Florida. She's kind of the head of the family. From what I hear, she's pretty scary. She's bossy, mean and tough as nails. You wouldn't want to mess with her.
Cliff: Yeah? Bet you my ma could take her. Gloves or bare fists, open hand, closed hand, I don't care.

Woody: Well, I've drawn up a list of names of the people I want to invite to the party. The only problem is, I only get to invite a few. Where do you draw the line?
Frasier: Well, Woody, something that Lilith and I find helpful when we plan a party is to simply start at the bottom of the list, and eliminate the least desirable.
Woody: Okay. Cranes are out. Thanks, Dr. Crane. That was helpful. [shakes Frasier's hand]

Woody: Tonight's my first night at the graveyard. I don't want to be late, all right? Now, come on, you guys really got to go. Let's go. Come on.
Cliff: Woody! Woody! Woody! Hold it! Hold it! What's the rush? It's not like your customers are going to be going anywhere. [Cliff & Norm chuckle] Huh?
Norm: Yeah, yeah. But you know, it is going to be awfully lonely out there, Wood.
Cliff: Oh, no, now, don't worry. You'll have plenty of company. They won't be too talkative, what with their lips sewn shut.
Woody: Well, you don't actually have to see the bodies, do you? I mean, they're in the coffins, right?
Cliff: Oh, yeah, most of them are. The ones that can afford it. Yeah, the rest of them, they, uh, put in body bags or sometimes just a big roll of blotting paper. Sometimes they're just laying about arms and legs akimbo. Yeah, their lips drawn in a ghastly rictus.
Woody: I don't know what rictus means, Mr. Clavin.
Cliff: You will by sunup, my lad.

Cliff: You know, I understand that, Norm, the brain stays alive long after the body's lying in a coffin. Yeah, poor desperate soul in there trying to scream out, "Don't bury me! I'm not dead yet!"
Norm: And all they can muster is one final frantic gurgle.
Cliff: Oh, the gurgle!
Norm: Listen for that gurgle, Woody. You listen for that gurgle.
Woody: Hey, you guys are just trying to scare me, right? Forget it. I got a job to do. I've got a ring to pay for. Get out.
Cliff: [gurgling voice] Good night!
Norm: [gurgling voice] See ya!
Woody: Good night, Mr. Peterson, Mr. Clavin.
Cliff: [gurgling voice] Want to take a cab?
Woody: Oh, man, buried alive. Give me a break!
Rebecca: [o.s.] [echoey voice] Woody! Will someone let me out of here?!
Woody: [creaming] Agh! Mr. Peterson! Mr. Clavin! [runs out]

Woody: Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
Sam: Woody, man, you look terrible!
Woody: Yeah, I came straight from the graveyard. This is the worst night yet.
Cliff: Why was that, there, Wood?
Woody: Well, a couple of guys called in sick, and then, uh, we couldn't seem to bury old Mrs. Jane Van Der Hooven, beloved wife and mother. It was like she didn't want to go down. First the backhoe broke, and we had to dig the hole by hand. And then the ground was frozen and, uh, broke the handle on the shovel. And then the coffin kept popping open. You- You never get used to that, Sam.
Sam: I don't suppose you do.
Woody: And then when we finally buried old Mrs. Jane Van Der Hooven, beloved wife and mother, there was, uh, this strange gurgling sound and... I knew it was probably just old Gus finishing his shake, but uh, you don't want to take chances on something like that. So, I had to dig her up and check it. What a night.
Sam: I don't think you're gonna make it, man. This job's gonna kill you.
Woody: Oh, Sam, I gotta earn enough money to pay for the ring. [sobbing] It helps to do that every now and then.

Woody: All right, where's my money?
Gordon: What?
Woody: Come on, come on, you know the routine. l- l- l did this earlier. I give you blood, you give me money.
Gordon: You gave blood already today?
Woody: I didn't give it, I sold it. Hey, I got a ring to pay for, damn you.
Frasier: Woody, are you saying that after four days of virtually no sleep at all, you gave blood today twice?
Woody: Is that bad?
Frasier: Yes! The body can't take that kind of punishment. You're suffering from a lack of blood and a lack of sleep. My God, I'm surprised you're not hallucinating.
Woody: Huh. Don't worry about me, Dr. Crane. I'm fine. I just need a little sleep before that party tomorrow night. Huh! Hallucinating.
Kelly: [enters] Woody. Why aren't you dressed for the party?
Woody: What party? Who are you? Why am I covered with ants?!

Kelly: Woody, why do I have to have this bag on my hand?
Woody: It's for the grand unveiling.
Rebecca: Hi, Kelly. Why do you have that bag on your hand?
Kelly: It's to cover up the beautiful engagement ring that Woody just bought me.
Woody: Oh, way to be anticlimactic, Kelly! There, ta-dah.
Rebecca: Wow, what a beauty!

Norm: So, uh, what's going on over here, you guys, huh?
Cliff: Yeah, we saw Kelly coming in with a bag on her hand.
Woody: Yeah, it's for the grand unveiling of her engagement ring.
Norm: Oh, damn. We thought there was gonna be a puppet show.

Rebecca: [on the phone] Maintenance sticker? I don't know. It's pretty dark in there. All right, hold on a second. [crawls inside the vent] Carla, hand me the phone!
Carla: Here you go.
Rebecca: [o.s.] Thank you. All right, I'm wiping off the maintenance sticker now. Well, according to this, the heater was last serviced... This heater has never been serviced. I guess you don't need to bring a...
[Carla puts the grate back on]
Rebecca: [o.s.] Carla, what are you doing? Carla, what is that noise?
Carla: Well, I'm putting this grate back on. You know, it's a little dangerous to have it lying around out here.
Rebecca: [o.s.] Carla! Now this is not funny! You let me out of here right now! Oh, fine! I'm gonna call the police!
Carla: Boy, you know, one of our patrons could trip on this wire.
Rebecca: [o.s.] Oh, great! Now the phone doesn't work either!

Woody: All right, it's closing time! [rings bell] Everybody out. Mr. Peterson, Mr. Clavin, come on. Let's go. I'm already late.
Norm: Come on. I mean, the bar closes at 2:00. It's just now 2:30.