Norm: See there's a little more Eddie LeBec trade talk here.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? Oh, terrific. Uh, Bruins are playing Gretzky at Edmonton tonight. Boy, another chance to see Eddie "Come on in and bring your puck" LeBec.
Norm: [chuckling] Yeah.
Cliff: Boy, I tell you, that zuke is a disgrace to his teammates and this fair city.

Juror #1: Motions, recess, motions, recess. When is this thing going to end?
Juror #2: Two weeks, and the wife hasn't even taken the stand yet.
Diane: Sorry. I missed a couple words of testimony. I wanted to go back and double-check it with the court reporter.
Juror #3: Why do you keep your own record of the testimony? They write down everything that's said.
Diane: They don't write down emotions attitudes, telling facial glances.
Juror #1: Study my face. What am I thinking?

Diane: I can't believe that I'm hearing this. These are your grounds for acquittal? Well, pardon me my objectivity, but I don't happen to agree. He did it! I'm sure of it. I can tell just by looking at him.
Juror #1: Oh, yeah?
Diane: Yes. I was in a very similar situation to the wife in that my fiance has the same disarming brand of charm.
Juror #2: Are you saying that you're about to marry a murderer?
Juror #4: No, don't stop her. Let her do it.
Diane: Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha! Laugh if you will. I'm not fooled by Mr. Grand, and neither should you be.

Cliff: I tell you, the guy's a bum!
Carla: Sammy, two, uh, drafts and a Manhattan. And who's a bum?
Woody: Eddie.
Norm: Fisher. Eddie Fisher. The guy hasn't had a hit record in years.
Carla: Well, you better be talking about him and not my Eddie.
Sam: Are you worried about the game tonight?
Carla: Of course I'm worried about it. I know Eddie's had a couple of bad games. Seven.
Norm: Nine. Seven. I've never been very good with numbers.
Carla: Yeah, well, I got a really good feeling about tonight's game, you know? The weather's cleared, it's a full moon, and it's an even-numbered day in an even-numbered month. He'll turn it around tonight, you'll see.

Norm: Sammy, uh, could you, uh, step down to my office for one second, please? Listen, uh, we were thinking maybe someone's got to tell Carla that she's jinxing Eddie.
Sam: And what suicidal idiot did you have in mind to do that?
Norm: You know, your name kept coming up in the discussion...
Sam: No, no, no, no, no...
Norm: Come on, Sammy. Look, it's just for all us guys whose lives are so damn shallow that we depend upon the success of our local sports teams to give us a little identity around here. Am I right? Huh?
Sam: No, no, no, no way. Listen, if you want to do this, then we'll do it fair and square. We'll draw straws. Don't look.
Cliff: Oh, that's fair, Normie.
Sam: Now, I want the person who has to tell Carla to know that there's a choir job waiting for them in Vienna. [Norm gets the short straw] Sorry, Norm.
Cliff: Well, on the upside, Normie, you're in for some great strudel.
Woody: Oh, damn. I've never been to Europe.

Norm: Listen, uh... Carla, uh a few of the guys and I have been thinking. Now, this probably has, like, absolutely nothing to do with anything, but, uh...
Carla: You know, Norm, I've been thinking about Eddie and what's happened to his game and all that, and do you think it's possible that I could be jinxing him?
Norm: You? Jinxing Eddie? That's silly. No way! [chuckling] No. [whispering] Thank you, God.

Carla: Hey, Eddie!
Eddie LeBec: Hi.
Sam: How's it going?
Eddie LeBec: Well, after my last game, a fan sent me some new equipment. Dark glasses and a white cane.
Sam: Oh, you're just having a slump. You'll get out of it.
Eddie LeBec: I don't know, Sam. I've tried everything. I've been watching game films, taking extra practice. I don't know what to do. What did you used to do to break out of slumps when you were pitching, Sam?
Sam: Me? Well, l, uh, drank myself into a coma.
Woody: Did it work?

Carla: Hey, Eddie.
Eddie LeBec: Hey, hey, Carla.
Carla: Tonight's your night; I know it.
Eddie LeBec: Yeah, well, facing Gretzky, eh?
Carla: Hey, forget him. You carrying that lucky clove of garlic I gave you?
Eddie LeBec: Yeah.
Diane: Yes, he is.

Eddie LeBec: I don't know, Carla. I'm starting to get that choking feeling I usually get a day or two before they send me down to the minors.
Carla: No, no, no, come on! I don't want to hear any of that. There's got to be an explanation for this, and we're going to figure it out right now. Let's take it from the beginning, okay? When was the last time you won?
Eddie LeBec: Well, let's see. I think that would be the Canadiens game, eh? Um, that's right, because I remember that's the night we met.
Carla: Yeah, could've been somewhere around then. Yeah, so, um, when did things start going bad?
Eddie LeBec: Well, I guess that would be the next game.
Carla: Right. All right, now think really hard. Have you been doing anything different during that time? Um, eating different foods, taking a different route to the Garden, buying different magazines? I mean, anything, anything at all?
Eddie LeBec: No, no, nothing at all. I... I've been living my life the same way as I've always lived it. Except for one thing. [kisses Carla]

Frasier: Penalty?! What? He calls that slashing?
Norm: Well, Frasier, he nearly cut Curry in half there.
Frasier: Oh, ticky-tack. It's a wussy call. Let the guys play the game.