Diane: Coach, those boys are children. And childhood is supposed to be a time when you're free to play a game just for the fun of it, you know?
Coach: Fun.
Diane: That's right.
Coach: Fun. That's it exactly. Fun! That's why they're making all those mistakes. They're not having fun. They're gonna learn how to have fun, or they're not gonna play on any of my teams!

Sam: Coach, sit down, right now. Take a deep breath here. Now, don't you think that you- Coach, let it out. Don't you think you're overdoing this a little bit?
Coach: Sam, come on, you know what it takes to win ball games.
Sam: Coach. Coach. You're doing this because you think you have to make up for not making it in the big leagues. But you don't have to do that. I mean, you were a damn good coach.
Coach: I was?
Sam: You bet. And it wasn't because you were top, it was because you cared. My God, how many times did you walk me up and down the locker room before games pouring coffee down my throat when no one else would have bothered.
Coach: You're right, Sam. I was a lovely man. But it's not enough, Sam. Look, look, I'm a contender for the championship, Sam. Look, when I go out there, all those parents, Sam, they cheer for me. They cheer me on.
Sam: Really? Wow.
Coach: Now, after all we've been through, you're asking me to give all that up?
Sam: Well, I-
Diane: Coach, tell us this. Sure, you walk out there and you hear the cheers, but what is it costing you?
Coach: Well, let's see. I had to buy a jockstrap.

Carla: [o.s.] Hey, how's my baby?
Coach: I'm fine, honey, but I'm a little busy.
Sam: Carla, come on in.

Coach: What are you guys doing here?
Diane: They came by to quit.
Coach: Well, forget it, Diane. Nobody's quitting.
Boy #1: Well, I am. I can't take it any more. You're too hard on me. I can't sleep. My pets hate me. I'm starting to smoke again. I've had enough and I'm through.
Boy #2: Me too!
Coach: Oh, you're gonna quit, huh? That's what I've got on my hands, a bunch of quitters? Well, go ahead and quit. I can go it alone. Who needs you? Get outta here! Quit! Get back here! Line up against that bar, all of you. Now, I got a little story for you and I hope it just sticks with you for the rest of your life. Sam, what's a good story?

Coach: Listen. When I was a kid in school just about your age, I had this teacher, a real mean guy, guy named Mr. Spires. He always wanted me to learn the Pledge of Allegiance. And one day in assembly hall, he had me say it in front of the whole school. I'd stayed up the whole night before trying to learn it. But when I got up on that stage, I drew a complete blank. I was lost. And this Mr. Spires guy says, "Nobody in this auditorium is going to leave until Pantusso remembers." I stood there... It seemed like forever, with everybody laughing at me. It was probably the worst day of my life. [long silence]
Sam: And the point, Coach, is that you finally did learn the Pledge of Allegiance?
Coach: No, Sam, I never learned it.
Sam: Yeah, but you respected Mr. Spires for trying to help you.
Coach: No, I hated his guts, Sam.
Sam: But looking back on it now, you respect him for it?
Coach: No, no. He died and I was glad he died.
Diane: Thank you, Coach. I'm sure the guys enjoyed that inspiring story.

Diane: No, Coach, you told the right story.
Coach: Well, why did I say it?
Diane: Because you don't want these guys to leave hating you like you hated Mr. Spires.
Coach: Holy mackerel. [shouts to the kids] So that's what you had on your minds! Listen. Nobody but nobody's gonna turn me into a Mr. Spires. Understand?
Sam: Uh, Coach, there's gonna be some changes here.
Coach: You bet your boots there's gonna be some changes. From now on, there'll be no two-a-day practices, you understand? You're lucky if you're gonna get two a week. And any game we play, everybody plays, even the lousy ones, like you, Peewee. Got it? And if we win, we win, and if we lose, well, tough noogies. [kids cheer] Shut up! Carla, give these guys sodas till they drop. And I'm buying it. [kids cheer] Shut up! Shut up! Turn around and have your sodas. Diane, if we lose tomorrow, it's your butt.

Diane: We finally got our Coach back.
Sam: Yeah.
Diane: Things are gonna be even better than they were before. Oh, there's beauty in art. There's beauty in nature. And I think that applies to human nature, too. Things are allowed to take their own course, but we have to be tolerant of each other. We have to-
Sam: Your pad's upside down. [Diane gasps]