Frasier: Good afternoon, everyone. Have I missed anything?
Cliff: Eh, we're just having a little bit of spring training debate over here. Who do you pick for the pennant this year, huh?
Frasier: Well, if that's not the most loaded question I've ever heard. Who are you all going with? Boston, perchance?
Norm: As coincidence would have it, yeah.
Frasier: You know, we go through the same charade every year. Colored by your hometown chauvinism, you throw statistics and feasibility to the wind and predict Boston, and you're usually wrong. Well, I'm going out on a limb this year. I'm going to be the only one to pick the New York Yankees.
Carla: You're not the only one to pick the Yankees, Fras.
Frasier: I'm not?
Carla: No. Steve picked them, too. Hey, Woody, is Steve back there with you?
Woody: [o.s.] You bet, Carla.
[Woody wheels out a clothing rack to which a man has been tied by his hands and feet]
Frasier: You didn't let me finish. You see, I picked the Yankees to lose, you see? l, uh... I love the Red Sox. Don't hurt me, please.

Cliff: Yeah. Kind of sympathize, Woody. I once experienced a painful separation myself. A woman I cared very, very deeply about left me.
Carla: Oh, yeah. Your mom moved to Florida.
Cliff: She's right. I think I'm gonna go and give that little cutie a call right now.

Woody: Well, Miss Howe shouldn't be mad at Kelly. I mean, it's her dad's idea. He's just sending her away to hurt me.
Sam: Oh, come on, Wood. Probably doesn't have anything to do with you. Probably just wants to prove to his friends that he's rich enough to send his daughter to a fancy school in Europe.
Frasier: Has it occurred to anyone that Kelly might just want the best education money can buy?
Woody: That could be, Dr. Crane, but I think he's sending her to Europe to get her away from me.
Frasier: Why do you think that?
Woody: Because he told me so.

Carla: It's time for us to pick our designated driver for the night. OK. You all know the rules. Write your names down on a slip of paper.
Cliff: Uh, I understand you can tell a lot about a person by analyzing their signature. You ever get into that, doc?
Frasier: Oh, come on. I'm a trained psychiatrist, not some fortune-teller in a cheap carnival tent.
Cliff: That's too bad. I always wondered what my signature said about me.
Frasier: Mother of God! [backs away from Cliff]

Carla: And the lucky loser is... Yeesh! Cliff Clavin.
Cliff: You all get to ride shotgun in a brand-new postal vehicle.
Tony: Oh, great. We'll have a ride, but we'll all go to the wrong address.
Cliff: That better be the beer talking.

Norm: Well, Cliffie, I guess that's the luck of the draw, huh? Speaking of draw, Sammy...
Carla: Wait a minute. What's this?
Norm: What? What? Give me that.
Carla: Wait a minute. This says Norm Peterson. Hey, wait a minute. You didn't put this in the hat.
Norm: Oh, it's supposed to go in the hat?
Cliff: Oh, come on.
Carla: How many times have you done this?
Norm: I'm embarrassed to say this is my very first time.
Carla: This is the first time you cheated?
Norm: Oh, I thought you meant getting caught.

Kelly: Woody, I'm leaving for Europe first thing in the morning, and I wanted to spend every single free minute of the time I have left with you.
Woody: That's a great idea.
Kelly: But first I have to get my hair done. Oh, then I have to get my shots, and I have to buy a new bathing suit. Oh, and I haven't even started packing.
Woody: So what are you saying, Kelly?
Kelly: I guess "bye."
Woody: Well, at least we had this time together.

Woody: Oh. Listen. Before you go, there's something I want to give you. This... Is a promise ring. By giving you this ring, I'm making a promise that someday I'm gonna be giving you an engagement ring.
Kelly: Oh, Woody. That's beautiful.
Woody: Yeah. Well, it's been in my family for years. My dad gave it to some chick on Guam. That was before he met my mom.
Kelly: Woody, I'll never take it off. But why are you giving this to me right now?
Woody: Oh, well, I'm on a break right now.

Frasier: Not since Myrna Loy and William Powell have I heard such a rich collection of witticisms exchanged in such a pithy manner.
Sam: Is that that drunk couple who's always fighting in the pool room there?
Frasier: No. Those were the Lunts.

Woody: Well, I'm giving you this because you're gonna be in Europe, and you're gonna be meeting all those rich dukes and earls and counts and Basies and stuff.
Kelly: Woody, you have nothing to worry about. I love you. And besides, I'll probably be so busy with my studies that I won't have time for anything else.
Woody: Really? What are you studying?
Kelly: French, economics, and nude male figure drawing.
Woody: That ought to keep you real busy.